Blanche: Herb, I'm aware of how important it is to make a good impression in court. Tell me, what do you think would move the jury more, cleavage or a lot of leg?
Dorothy: That depends on what you're going for, a chuckle or a guffaw.

Herb Shrewsbury: Blanche, I think a conservative ensemble is in Sophia's best interest.
Rose: Oh, there'll be music?

Dorothy: Ma, where you going?
Sophia: If he puts you three on the stand, up the river.

Dorothy: Ma, what are you doing up?
Sophia: I can't sleep. I keep trying to think back on that night at Shady Pines.
Dorothy: And?
Sophia: And we're out of toilet paper.

Sophia: I told you, Dorothy, I can't remember a thing.
Dorothy: Ma, just because your memory is fuzzy doesn't mean that you're guilty.
Sophia: Doesn't mean I'm innocent, either.
Dorothy: Ma!
Sophia: Let's face it. I've done some pretty peculiar things in my day. Of course, I've got an excuse. I'm an old lady. I left my mind in the '60s.

Sophia: Frisk me.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma, stop that. What are you doing?
Sophia: Just frisk me. Frisk me. It's important practice for me if I'm going to prison.
Dorothy: Ma, you are not going to prison.

Dorothy: Now think back. Shady Pines. What was the last thing that you remember before that fire?
Sophia: Meat loaf. Nine days in a row.

Dorothy: Ma won't come out of her room. She's miserable.
Rose: Just to keep me up to speed, Dorothy, it's this negligent arson rap and the prospect of spending the rest of her waning years in jail thing, right?
Dorothy: No, it's the "Rose in the kitchen" thing.

Herb Shrewsbury: That was very interesting, Rose, but now that I've heard you, I think I'll probably just plead insanity.
Rose: You look perfectly sane to me.
Herb Shrewsbury: High praise indeed.

Sophia: Pussycat, when I go to trial, will you be a character witness for me, you know, tell them I'm sweet and cute and don't have it in me to harm a fly?
Dorothy: What, you want me to perjure myself?
Sophia: Basically.