Dorothy: Uh, Rose, listen, we have something to tell you.
Rose: This is amazing, this is so amazing. To think I'm giving a press conference and next week we all go to Moscow. Can you believe it, Dorothy?
Dorothy: No, but then again, I can't believe that God wanted Jerry Falwell to go down that water slide in a cheap suit.

Rose: I'm babbling, but it's just because I'm so excited. Maybe I should open up with a joke. No, my jokes are boring. Maybe I should just tell a story. Like the time my Uncle Gustav got drunk and tried to milk a porcupine.
Dorothy: Listen, Rose, we have to tell you something.
Blanche: There has been a terrible misunderstanding.
Dorothy: Rose, we just found out today that everybody thinks the letter you sent to Gorbachev was written by a nine-year-old girl.
Rose: You can't be serious.

Rose: I'm just stupid. I'm a dimwitted, dumb, simpleminded, grade-A, Minnesota chucklehead.
Blanche: But, the important thing is you're our chucklehead, and we wouldn't trade you in for any other chucklehead in the whole wide world. Why don't you take it, Dorothy.

Alexi: Ladies and gentlemen, several weeks ago I brought a letter to the attention of our premier. He was so moved by its child-like simplicity, he requested to meet with the little girl who wrote it. I would like to introduce you to that extraordinary nine-year-old girl, right now. Rose Nylund.
Rose: Uh, I'm Rose Nylund.
Alexi: Oh, boy.
Rose: I'm the one who wrote the letter.
Alexi: Oh, boy.
Rose: I guess there's been some kind of misunderstanding, but a Sunshine Cadet never lies.
Alexi: I have two announcements. This press conference is canceled, and I am proud to be the newest citizen of Miami. If anyone wants to reach me, my name is Dave.