Sophia: She's always telling me what to do.
Rocco: Don't worry about it. My daughter treats me the same way.
Sophia: Kids. Once they're over 50, they think they know everything.

Rose: I wanted to ask you, do you think Blanche has been picking on me lately?
Dorothy: I haven't noticed.
Rose: Hi, Blanche.
Blanche: Must you always be so cheerful, you empty-headed Mary Poppins knockoff?
Rose: [to Dorothy] Let me know if you notice anything.

Rose: Gee, what's my diary doing here? Next to a pair of pliers?
Blanche: Rose, whatever it is you're thinkin', it isn't true.
Rose: Good. Then George Bush isn't married to his mother.

Rose: [o.s.] Sophia?
Sophia: I'm not in. Wait for the beep. Then leave a message. Beep.
Rose: [o.s.] Hi, this is Rose. I-
Sophia: Rose, shut up and get in here.

Rose: Look at all that money!
Blanche: Gosh, there's thousands.
Dorothy: Where did this come from?
Sophia: Rocco's bag.
Rose: Where did Rocco get all this money?
Sophia: I don't know, but the next time we go to the Colonel, I'm getting all white meat and a biscuit.

Blanche: I do not believe this. There are thousands here.
Dorothy: Ma, how could Rocco have this much money?
Sophia: I'm as confused as all of you. All I know was he had that satchel when he went to the bank this morning.
Rose: Sophia, maybe you better tell us exactly what happened.
Sophia: When we got to the bank, he told me to keep the motor running. And five minutes later, he ran out at top speed.
Dorothy: And did you ever think of asking him why he was running?
Sophia: No. The man is taking diuretics for a prostate problem. His whole life is a 50-yard dash.

Blanche: But, Dorothy, you have to admit, it was very touching what Rocco did for Sophia.
Dorothy: It would have been more touching if it hadn't been a felony.
Blanche: Still, it goes to show you, your hair may turn gray, your skin may wrinkle, but you're never too old for romance. So, don't give up, girls.

Dorothy: Hey, listen, when the two of you go in there, I want you to leave the door open.
Rocco: Yes, Mrs. Cleaver.

Dorothy: He's here, isn't he?
Sophia: Who?
Dorothy: Who? Rocco.
Sophia: Rocco.
Dorothy: Ma, let me refresh your memory. The man you met in the police lineup.
Sophia: I was at the police station to identify the guy who stole my purse. Rocco was there on a trumped-up charge.
Dorothy: Ma, they caught him on a billboard spray-painting something obscene on Spuds MacKenzie.
Sophia: The dog they use in those ads is really a female. Rocco was just making Spuds anatomically correct.

Sophia: Look who came to say hello, Rocco.
Rocco: Hello, Dorothy. Always a pleasure. Nice seeing you.
Dorothy: Cut the crap and put out the stogie, Rocco.
Rocco: I like your style. Right suit, right haircut, voice a little higher, you could pass as Frank Nitti.
Dorothy: What the hell are you talking about?
Rocco: A little higher, I think you got it.