Frank: Your friend's pretty good.
Blanche: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not wearing a bra.

Dorothy: Now, this whole idea is twisted. Come on, you're gonna be around for years. There's no reason for anybody to say goodbye to you.
Sophia: Dorothy, I want this. There's nothing you can do to stop me. Nothing you can say will prevent me from having the wake of my dreams.
Dorothy: Well, I'm not paying for it.
Sophia: Okay, a kitten. Can I have a kitten?

Dorothy: [to the men at the bar] Oh, come on, come on. Boys, boys, boys! I am woman enough for all of you.
Blanche: This is the point in my dream where I usually wake up screamin'.

Rose: Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice you took several of my tasty, delicious, lutefisk puffs and you've hardly touched them.
Eva: Uh, I just don't care for them.
Rose: Yeah, well, that's an ugly hat.

Blanche: And the good news is that Sophia's still with us. So, now you have the chance to tell her how you really feel about her.
Myrtle: I'll go first.Sophia, I drove 30 miles and missed a day of work just to be here. I think it's very selfish of you not to be dead.
Eva: And I missed- Well, actually, I didn't have anything planned for today, but I'm still p.o.'d.

Blanche: Hi, handsome. What's your name?
Ron: His name's Don, and he just had hip surgery.
Blanche: Well, hello, big boy. Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? [The man pulls out a gun]

Blanche: All right, the truth is, I'm jealous of you. Oh, God, that leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Dorothy: Blanche, what are you talking about?
Blanche: Dorothy, the one thing in my life I've always been assured of is being the center of attention. Oh, I knew I never had to worry about competing with any other woman 'cause I'd always win. But when I saw you sing the other night, I realized why all those men were practically fallin' all over themselves to get to you. Because, Dorothy, when you sing, you light up the room. You do. You positively glow. You're just- You're beautiful.
Dorothy: Oh, Blanche, you don't have to say that.
Blanche: Well, believe me, I don't like sayin' it. But it's true. You can attract men in a way I can't and I'm jealous of you.
Dorothy: Blanche Devereaux, that is the nicest thing that you have ever said to me.
Blanche: It is?
Dorothy: Absolutely.
Blanche: Yeah, you're probably right. Most of the time when I compliment you, I'm not being sincere. But I really meant that last one, I swear.

Dorothy: Look, Blanche, the Rusty Anchor is not worth risking our friendship over. If you want me to stop coming here, just say so.
Blanche: I want you to stop comin' here.
Dorothy: Like hell I will.
Blanche: Then what are we gonna do? Why don't we share?
Dorothy: Let's just be sure that we both don't show up on the same night.
Blanche: You mean, like I would come three nights a week, and you come three?
Dorothy: Right. Oh, wait a minute. What about Sunday?
Blanche: Oh, you don't wanna come on a Sunday, Dorothy. The men have been watching football all day long. They're drunk and rowdy...
Dorothy: Yeah, you want Sundays, don't you?
Blanche: Please.

Blanche: Dorothy, are you ever jealous of me?
Dorothy: Every day of my life. Blanche, why don't we go out there and do a duet?
Blanche: Do you know Cry Me A River?
Dorothy: Uh, no, I don't.
Blanche: Good. We'll do that one.

Rose: [picking up the microphone] Two Jews, an Arab, and a priest walk into a bar...