Dorothy: Oh, no, we can't cancel. First grade is when kids take an interest in reading. Why can't we recast it with adults?
Frank: But where are we going to find an adult with the childlike naivete to play Henny Penny?
Rose: Hi. Oh, you're not gonna believe it. I just saw a cloud that looked exactly like a cotton ball.
Frank: My God, she is Henny Penny.

Dorothy: Rose, my entire cast has been quarantined. We're in a real bind. How would you like to play Henny Penny?
Rose: Well, I have enjoyed playing a hen in the past.
Dorothy: Oh, fill us in. Parade, honeymoon or religious ceremony?
Rose: Theater. The St. Olaf Masquers' production of Hamlet.
Dorothy: I don't right off recall a hen in Hamlet.
Rose: Oh, we set the play in a barnyard. Luckily the symphony was out of town at the time.

Blanche: Well, Frank Nann. I haven't seen you since that weekend in Pensacola.
Frank: Goosey Loosey.
Blanche: That's right. We did have fun, Squeezy Wheezy.
Frank: No, no, I mean you'd be perfect for the part of Goosey Loosey.

Frank: Now, listen, Dorothy, since both of your housemates are going to be in the play, why don't you play Turkey Lurkey?
Dorothy: Oh come on. No, no, no. No, that's out of the question.
Sophia: Why? You'd be perfect. "Turkey Lurkey" was your nickname in high school.
Dorothy: Ma, it was not.
Sophia: Really? That's what they called you at the PTA.

Dorothy: Rose, come on now. You haven't said a word since we left rehearsal.
Rose: Nobody told me Henny Penny ended that way. Nobody told me it was a tragedy.
Blanche: Rose, you've been rehearsing for three days. Why are you makin' a scene now?
Rose: Well, that was the first time we rehearsed the ending. I didn't know that Turkey and Henny and Goosey were all eaten by Foxy Loxy. Oh, the humanity.
Dorothy: Rose, you mean you didn't even look at the end of the play until today?
Rose: If there's one thing I remember about my wedding night, it's Charlie telling me it's impolite to peek.

Rose: All I'm trying to say is we had fairy tales in St. Olaf that weren't violent, and they had positive role models. Like "Gus and the Recliner". "Gunilla Gets a Catalog". And "Ilsa, the Girl Who Could Make Bad Food Good".

Dorothy: Look, Rose, if you don't do the part, there won't be any play. Now, this is a project that I care about deeply, but I don't want you doing it for my sake, Rose. Do it for the kids. It's a chance to get them reading.
Rose: All right, all right, I'll do it. And not just for the kids. I just feel it's time I gave something back to the chicken community. After all, a chicken once saved my life. [exits]
Blanche: They are the stupidest birds.

Delivery Guy: Flowers for Blanche Deverucks.
Dorothy: No, that's "Devereaux." It's only pronounced "Deverucks" in limericks.

Sophia: "On her way, Henny came upon Goosey Loosey, one of the most popular birds in the barnyard."
Blanche: The most popular!
Sophia: And the eighth graders are seeing a play today about how to be that popular safely.

Sophia: "On their way, Henny Penny and Goosey Loosey came upon Turkey Lurkey." Yes, poor lonely Turkey Lurkey. Poor dateless, hopeless, self-basting-
Dorothy: Ma!