Blanche: Well, I guess I could always tell him that he's too good for me.
Rose: Sometimes the truth is best.

Sophia: Here you go. Half butter pecan, half rocky road. Just like you like it, ma'am.
Blanche: Thank you, Sophia.
Sophia: [clears throat]
Blanche: Oh, here, darling, that's for you.
Sophia: Wow, a whole dollar. Now I can buy those knee-highs I've been saving up for.

Dorothy: No, you find one little flaw in somebody, and you run away.
Blanche: "A little flaw"? He has skinny arms. How'd you like to be made love to by somebody who has arms like your mother?
Dorothy: My father made love to her because of her inner beauty.
Sophia: He never saw me naked.

Blanche: Okay, I'm gonna go get prettied up and then I'm going down to the drugstore and- and get to know more about this man. You know, Bill's likes, Bill's dislikes, Bill's last name.

Blanche: Hey, who says you're not a hero? Welcome home.
Bill: It is home, isn't it? Last night I wasn't quite here yet. This morning was real. When I handed you that rose, I realized I was standing at a stranger's door. Because the truth is, I'm not a soldier. I'm a pharmacist in his 50s, and you're a woman in her...
Blanche: Watch it, Bill.

Security Guard: Mmm? I caught this old lady assaulting a man over the last tube of Preparation H. The tube broke and it's all over aisle 7. I detained her for scooping up the rest of the ointment and putting it in her purse.
Blanche: Sophia!
Sophia: Oh, big deal. The other guy got away scot-free, and he wriggled in it.

Dorothy: Uh, Ma, I bought you a little something.
Sophia: You what?
Dorothy: I bought you a new handbag to replace the one that you ruined at the drugstore.
Sophia: Oh, thank God. The other one shrank down to the size of a change purse.

Sophia: I, Sophia Petrillo, when I die, wanna be blown to a million, billion bits. [both laughing] I, Sophia Petrillo, leave my daughter to science.