Sophia: Who cares, Rose. I got my own problems.
Rose: Your own problems?
Sophia: I can't find my lucky handkerchief.
Rose: Lucky handkerchief?
Sophia: What the hell are you? A mynah bird? I'm trying to get my kit together for a major bingo game and it's not here. There's no way I can play without it. It's like Kareem without his goggles.

Dorothy: We have spent exactly two Saturday mornings building display booths and painting signs. We're hardly close.
Blanche: Maybe you could be, if you'd ask him out. He's obviously too shy to ask you.
Rose: Maybe he just doesn't like her.
Dorothy: Thank you, Rose. Incidentally, you look fat.

Dorothy: I'll do it my own way.
Sophia: If you do it your way, you'd better use Jane Fonda's body, otherwise, it'll just be the four of us for dinner.

Dorothy: I notice a lot of your students call you "Frank."
Frank: You don't approve?
Dorothy: No. On the contrary. I think anything other than "Yo, Teach." is an educational breakthrough.

Frank: I've been at this a long time. I know their families, I've been to their homes for dinner.
Dorothy: Really? You've been to their homes for dinner?
Frank: Well, of course they spread a newspaper on the floor for me.
Dorothy: Oh, Frank.
Frank: I'm kidding. You seem so amazed.
Dorothy: No, I'm not amazed. I just think it's nice that you do that.
Frank: It's funny. I just assumed that you knew that I ate dinner.
Dorothy: I meant that I think it's nice that you go to people's homes for dinner. How would you like to go home with me? I mean, for dinner. Maybe next week? My roommates would love to meet you.
Frank: Sure. What's a good night?
Dorothy: Bingo night. Any other night I'd have to introduce you to my mother.

Blanche: Now, when we go out there for dinner, you be sure and sit on the far side and I'll sit next to you.
Rose: Why?
Blanche: Just in case anyone wants to play a little footsie.
Rose: Gee, that sounds like fun. I haven't played footsie in years. Charlie never-
Blanche: Rose. Frank and Dorothy might want to play footsie.
Rose: Oh. Oh!

Rose: Blanche, don't you think you might be pushing Dorothy a little hard?
Blanche: No, and I need all your help. And she needs your help, too. You know, she's not going to have too many chances. She doesn't have my beauty or your... We'll help you next week.

Blanche: The point is she practically glows every time she speaks his name.
Rose: Do you think Dorothy's in love?
Blanche: Well, she's very definitely smitten. And with a little help from us, I think she can fire Cupid's arrow into the tushie of love.
Rose: The "tushie of love"? For some strange reason, I find that provocative.
Blanche: You really ought to date more, Rose.

Dorothy: Frank, Frank, I'm sorry I- Please tell me that's a Nehru jacket.
Frank: No, it's not.

Rose: OK, everybody, we're ready to serve the appetizers.
Dorothy: Come on, Frank. We're eating out on the lanai.
Rose: Now, exactly where am I supposed to sit?
Blanche: Oh, anywhere you damn well please. What difference does it make now?