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Forgive Me, Father

‘Forgive Me, Father’

Season 2, Episode 18 - Aired February 14, 1987

Dorothy falls for a teaching colleague, unaware he is a priest.

Quote from Blanche

Blanche: Why don't you just come on in and sit down. I'm Blanche. I'm Dorothy's roommate. Would you please get the door?
Frank: Dorothy's told me a great deal about you.
Blanche: Well, she seems to have left out one itty-bitty detail about you.
Frank: That I'm a priest? She didn't know.
Blanche: What'd she think? You were just a boring dresser?
Frank: She's just never seen me in cleric's clothing.
Blanche: I didn't know you priests could take your clothes off.
Frank: We do a lot of things real people do.
Blanche: Except for one very important thing. Boy, is that gonna put a hitch in Dorothy's plans.

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Quote from Rose

Rose: Hello. I'm Rose Nylund. You must be Frank. It's a pleasure to finally meet you.
Frank: Thank you, Rose. It's very nice to meet you.
Rose: Dorothy's done nothing but talk about you for weeks.
Blanche: Rose.
Rose: Every time she mentions your name, she practically glows.
Blanche: Rose.
Rose: I think she's really very smitten with you.
Blanche: Rose.
Rose: He's a priest, isn't he?
Blanche: Yes, Rose.
Rose: I'm so sorry Hell Town was cancelled.

Quote from Dorothy

Frank: You look lovely tonight.
Dorothy: I look like the mother of a Solid Gold dancer.

Quote from Rose

Blanche: Oh, so first you were a teacher and then you decided to became a priest.
Frank: Well, actually, first, I went to medical school for a year. Then I quit and became an assistant basketball coach, then I became a teacher, then came the priesthood.
Rose: What do you think you'll do next?

Quote from Rose

Rose: You know, black is your color. Did that influence your decision to enter the priesthood?

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, the bingo game's over already?
Sophia: It wasn't a game. It was a travesty. They call four lousy numbers and, boom, Gloria Rossi's a winner. Six more numbers, Cecilia Kessler's jumping up and down, shouting, "I'm rich. I'm rich." Of course she also does this every Thursday morning on the boardwalk to attract men. Frankly, I think the whole thing was fixed. That's why I told Father Donatelli I'm gonna ask Hugh Downs to investigate. [to Frank] I guess they sent you over to shut me up.

Quote from Sophia

Dorothy: Ma, this is Father Leahy. He had dinner with us tonight.
Sophia: Pleased to meet you. What happened to your date?
Rose: Father Leahy is her date.
Sophia: Come here. Dorothy, sometimes a mother gets a little busy and forgets to tell her daughter everything she needs to know. So I'm telling you now. Don't date a priest. It's bad luck.
Dorothy: Ma.
Sophia: Trust me on this one. What happened to me at bingo tonight was no accident.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: I thought I heard voices. Now I see that only two of them are God-fearing.
Dorothy: Ma, will you get off my back, I feel bad enough.
Sophia: You? What about me? Eighty-one-years I've eaten fish on Friday, even when the Pope told me I didn't have to. I go to Mass, I light candles, and for what? So it could all be flushed down the toilet, because my daughter insists on going out with Father Happy Pants.
Dorothy: Ma, you're not making it any easier.
Sophia: Look, Dorothy, in the end, only you can decide what's right for you. And whatever decision it is, I'll stand by you.
Dorothy: Thanks, Ma.
Sophia: Just remember, make the wrong decision, you'll burn in hell forever. Sleep tight, pussycat.

Quote from Sophia

Sophia: I'm not here to confess, Father, I did that a day and a half ago. At my age, how much can I sin? What, I had an impure thought? I'd kill to have an impure thought. That would be two sins. But now I'm telling you your business. Let me get to the real point of my visit. It's about you and my daughter. I know everything and, frankly, I'm not thrilled. Of course, if you wanna break your mother's heart and leave the priesthood, that's between you and the Vatican, but there are a few things you should know about Dorothy before you get carried away. Look, I know priests are men and they have urges. What is it, lust? It'll pass. I do without. You get used to it. Get cable TV. Alright. Listen, your silence is deafening. I didn't wanna whip this one out, but I have no choice. She's been divorced. You know the rulebook. We're talking eternity here.

Quote from Sophia

Frank: Are we still on for dinner Thursday night?
Dorothy: Yes. But just so there won't be another misunderstanding, who is buying?
Frank: How about a Dutch treat?
Dorothy: Great. I'll see you Thursday.
Frank: Dorothy, thanks.
[Sophia emerges from the confessional booth to see Frank and Dorothy hugging]
Sophia: It's like you didn't hear a word I said!

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