Dorothy: Oh, I guess, there's nothing we can do about it now. Besides, it's probably what Phil wanted. I'm gonna go check on Ma.
Blanche: Listen, if it makes you feel any better, I don't see anything wrong with it.
Dorothy: Oh, thank you, Blanche. This means a lot coming from a woman who wants to be buried dressed like a majorette.

Sophia: Where is Big Sally?
Dorothy: Oh, Ma. Her name is Angela. Ma, I want you to make peace with her.
Angela: Hello, Dorothy. Sophia.
Dorothy: Angela.
Angela: Dorothy. Dorothy, I don't know if it was a good idea to have the funeral in Miami instead of Newark. I just talked to the priest. He doesn't know a thing about Phil. He thinks Phil was some kinda crazy combination brain surgeon/astronaut. Where would he get the idea that Phil had an IQ of 160?
Sophia: Well, if your brother hadn't been stumped by long division...

Dorothy: Angela, about this teddy.
Angela: It's a beaut, isn't it? No surprise, though. Phil had great taste. That's one of the things I loved about him the most from the beginning. His sense of style. We were married for 26 years and my family still talks about that wedding dress. God, I wish I could wear a plunging neckline like that.
Sophia: Why couldn't you bury him in a suit?
Angela: Because this is what he wanted. You know, it hasn't been easy for me, Sophia. It hasn't been easy.

Rose: You all right, Sophia?
Sophia: Why does everyone keep asking me that? I'm OK. I'm fine. I don't want to talk about it.
Rose: You know, I saw a lot of this when I worked at the grief center. You're angry about Phil's death and that's normal. But you shouldn't be angry with Angela. You know, I think you haven't cried because you haven't accepted his death yet.
Sophia: Thank you. I've never been psychoanalyzed by a dipstick before.

Dorothy: Angela, I wish you wouldn't rush right back to Newark after the funeral. Why don't you stay at the house for a couple of days.
Angela: I gotta get back to work. I was just promoted. Chief make-over artist in the cosmetic department at Bamberger's.
Dorothy: Angela, Angela, this has to end. You know, I don't think the family even knows what the fight was about.
Angela: I'll tell you what it was about. Your mother hates me. I'm sorry, Dorothy. I've been invited to your mother's house twice in the past 26 years and that was quite enough.
Dorothy: Then why don't you come to my house? Angela, please?
Angela: OK. I'll come.
Dorothy: OK.
Angela: Maybe I could show Blanche how to correctly apply her makeup.
Dorothy: I'd like that.
Angela: Although she might be offended if I bring it up.
Dorothy: That's the part I like.

Sophia: You showed disrespect for our family, and family is sacred where I come from. Phil knew how I felt. You think it was easy for me? I did what I had to do.
Angela: But what did I do?
Sophia: You know very well what you did.
Angela: I swear, I don't.
Sophia: Your dowry check bounced.
Angela: What dowry check?
Sophia: Your father gave us a check for two million when we agreed to let you marry Phil.
Blanche: Two million dollars for Phil? Wasn't exactly a buyer's market, was it?
Sophia: Not two million dollars. It was lire. With the exchange rate, it came to about $47. But the check bounced anyway.

Rose: My father offered a dowry, and Charlie wouldn't take it.
Blanche: Oh, maybe that's because he knew eventually those beans would stop jumpin'.
Rose: Or maybe he just loved me. Beans. I'll have you know it was the biggest pumpkin of the season.

Dorothy: Come on, now, I've had it, I've had it. That's enough. Come on. Now, isn't somebody going to say something? Ma? Angela? Fine. I'll wait. [silence]
Rose: You know what I think?
Blanche: That reindeer really know how to fly?
Rose: That's enough, Blanche!

Rose: I spent a lot of time at that grief center, and I know what I'm talking about. Sophia, is that $47 the only thing that's bothering you?
Sophia: It's a big part of it.
Rose: What else?
Sophia: The dress thing. Why didn't she stop the dress thing?
Angela: He's been doing that all his life. That didn't start with me.
Sophia: Oh, so it's my fault?
Rose: Are you worried that people will think it's your fault, Sophia?
Sophia: Oh, it's not like having a war hero in the family.
Rose: Angela, was he a good husband?
Angela: Yeah.
Rose: A good provider? A good father for your children?
Angela: Yeah!

Rose: OK. Now, I know no one wants to hear one of my stories right now.
Dorothy: That's usually a pretty safe bet, Rose.
Rose: But you need to know about my cousin Ingmar. Ingmar was different. He used to do bird imitations.
Blanche: Well, what's wrong with that?
Rose: Well, let's just say you didn't want to park your car under their oak tree. No, Ingmar was different. His mother used to say he brought shame to the house of Hausenfeffershtuledunker. Anyway, you're all wondering where this story is going, so I'll skip the part where he ran up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs-
Dorothy: Rose, you're not skipping!
Rose: Sorry. The point is, it was shame that kept Aunt Katrina from loving slow Ingmar. And it ruined her life. Oh, don't let that happen to you, Sophia. Let go of the shame. So what if he was different? It's OK that you loved him.