Stan: Dorothy, you've got the compassion of a priest, you really do. But you'd have to be the entire Vatican softball team to forgive me for the other time.
Dorothy: The other time?
Stan: I didn't mean it to happen. I was having a drink in the bar that they added onto that Greek diner when a woman sat down next to me. We talked, we drank, we broke a few dishes. The next thing I knew, I came to in a motel with my toupee in my mouth.
Dorothy: I cannot believe this. I cannot believe that I am hearing this. I mean, I always assumed something like this could happen, but I just figured that it would be that blonde secretary you had who couldn't type or take shorthand.
Stan: You're wrong on two counts, Dorothy. She could take shorthand and I did have an affair with her.
Dorothy: I am shocked. That airhead could take shorthand?