Dorothy: Hi, Ma.
Sophia: [sighs] Wait a minute. Aren't you going to ask me why I'm sitting in the dark?
Dorothy: I already know. Your birthday's this weekend and you're depressed about being older.
Sophia: No, I'm not. I'm depressed because you give me such lousy birthday presents.
Dorothy: Ma, you want better presents, adopt Monty Hall.
Sophia: I wish I could. Jewish sons are the best. They give great gifts, always call, and you don't have to worry about them getting hurt playing sports.