Sophia: Just calm down. I'll show you an old Sicilian trick. This is how I grew up poor and managed to eat in the best restaurants in all of Italy. Watch. [adds salt to her champagne] Look. Learn. [spits out] It's awful! Swill!
Waiter: Is there a problem?
Sophia: You're supposed to take off your socks before you step on the grapes. Taste this.
Waiter: Oh, dear. Ladies, I'm terribly sorry. I'll get you a new bottle.
Sophia: No, no. It lingers on the palate. We won't be able to drink champagne for weeks.
Waiter: Well, at least let us pay for your meal.
Sophia: If you insist.
Waiter: Thank you.
Sophia: Now it's a celebration!