Rose: Well, Butter Queen was our town's highest honor. From the time I was born my folks groomed me for it. Singing lessons, dancing lessons, junior butter pageants. For 16 years my entire life revolved around butter.
Dorothy: You were very fortunate. So many of us wasted our youth.
Rose: When the time came for the pageant, I was incredible. I showed poise in the evening-gown competition. I was brilliant in the oral butter quiz. They couldn't even trip me up with a trick margarine question. That evening butter was spelt R-O-S-E.
Dorothy: Rose, you're embarrassing yourself. Please don't go on.
Rose: I have to, Dorothy. I've kept these bitter butter memories too long. As the pageant drew to its frenzied finale, there I was, alongside the other two finalists, churning my guts out. When all of a sudden, for no apparent reason, my churn jammed.
Women: No!
Rose: Yes. And just like that, it was over. I'd lost. It was the biggest disappointment in my life. It was small consolation to find out, years later, there had been churn-tampering involved.