Blanche: Girls, guess what? Kendall just told me he needs to be alone with me.
Rose: What did you do?
Blanche: Well, what else? I gave him my key to our room. Now, let me have yours, Rose. You can bunk with Dorothy and Sophia tonight.
Rose: But we were gonna be roomies.
Blanche: Either you're bunkin' with them, or you can sleep in the closet.
Rose: Closet?
Blanche: Give me that key.

Rose: Girls, guess what? You know that Save the McKinley Lighthouse campaign I've been talking about?
Dorothy: Mmm, no.
Rose: Oh, sure you do. I've told you about it 200 times.
Dorothy: No.
Rose: Boy, it's like you people don't pay any attention to me whatsoever.
Blanche: Hey, when did you sneak in?

Blanche: Oh, bravo! Bravissimo! Encore! Encore! Date me!
Rose: Blanche!
Blanche: Well, he was good.
Rose: He was not. He was just a man. I mean, you've said yes to all the men and you've been discriminating against the women.
Blanche: I have not. Just so happens all the women we've seen have been horrible. [Woman sings a note] Thank you!

Rose: Sophia, I'm so glad you're safe, and I have some good news. The stage manager just told me the hurricane is breaking up and we're only going to have to stay here a few more hours. Well, I'm gonna go tell everybody.
Blanche: Don't you dare. First, we sell them candy.

Dorothy: You should calm down, Ma. We can talk about that later.
Sophia: Fine. Okay. If you think that's best.
Dorothy: Oh, Ma.
Blanche: So, anyway, Dorothy, like I was saying about Grammy's plantation...
Dorothy: Blanche, I cannot believe you!
Blanche: You said you weren't gonna talk about this till later.
Dorothy: I know, but Ma almost died.
Blanche: Well, she's got her color back, hasn't she?

Thor: Oh, boy, you and me snuggling on a couch, brings back a lot of memories, doesn't it?
Rose: Actually, no. That's what I want to talk to you about. Thor, ever since you got here, you've been talking about things we did and things we said, and I don't remember any of it.
Thor: So you don't remember every little detail. At least, you remember what's important. You remember the kiss, our first kiss.
Rose: Well...
Thor: This doesn't make any sense. Rose, maybe you don't remember because you've suffered some brain damage. [Blanche laughing off-screen]
Rose: Thor, the one thing I do remember is that I only went out with you because of Charlie Nylund. I used you to make Charlie jealous. It was Charlie I loved, not you.
Thor: Oh, I I feel so stupid, so incredibly stupid. Do you know what it's like to feel this stupid? [Blanche laughing off-screen; Rose hits the kitchen door]
Blanche: [o.s.] Ow!

Dorothy: Blanche, what made you decide to forgive Rose?
Blanche: Because I'm reasonable and kind and considerate, and I'm back in the game. I have a date tonight with a young man I met in the produce department at the market. I showed him how to thump a melon.
Sophia: There's a euphemism we haven't heard before.
Blanche: I realized something. Just because every man in my life thinks I'm a lesbian doesn't mean there aren't thousands and hundreds and millions of men out there who don't. [doorbell rings] That must be my melon man.
Dorothy: Zorro rides again.

Blanche: Dorothy, tonight I'm gonna be out front in a laundry truck.
Dorothy: Gotcha. So...
Blanche: If you hear screamin', don't call the cops.

Rose: Now, is there anything special you girls feel like doing today?
Jackie: Would it be too much to see a movie?
Rose: Oh, no. We can go see Oliver & Company or Roger Rabbit.
Jackie: Or Tequila Sunrise. I hear Mel Gibson takes his shirt off a lot.
Blanche: You know, Jackie, I think you and I are gonna get along just fine.

Rose: Oh, Blanche, that was sweet of you.
Blanche: Well, Dorothy's a good friend. Besides, who knows? Maybe this guy will turn out to be cute. [all laugh]