Dr. Wallerstein: Excuse me, are you the ladies who came in with Mrs Nylund?
Blanche: Yes. Yes, we are.
Dr. Wallerstein: I'm Dr Wallerstein. I've been treating her since she was brought in.
Blanche: Oh, Dorothy, she's gonna be all right. Her doctor's a Jew.
Dorothy: Blanche, please. How is she, Dr Jew? Uh, Wallerstein.

Dorothy: Listen, Rose, honey, it's been a very tough night for all of us, so why don't we go home, and west, and we'll talk about your twip in the morning.
Rose: Dorothy, don't you realize what happened? I died and came back. I was given a second chance. A chance to do all the things I've never done. A chance to live my life for myself for a change. Oh, you're looking at a new Rose Nylund. The girl who's gonna eat life.

Dorothy: [answering phone] Hello? No, Rose is not here. Do you know what time it is? No, it is not party time, it is sleepy time. No, that is not an invitation. Sir, you cannot die from that. No, it's just uncomfortable. Take a cold shower and the normal color will return. Bye-bye.

Dorothy: Sorry, Ma, I wasn't paying attention. I keep thinking about Rose.
Blanche: Oh, just forget about her. If she doesn't want to be our roommate, that is fine with me. In fact, I'm happy she's leaving. [haughty laugh] You see how happy I am? You try it. Go, [haughty laugh].
Dorothy: If you don't mind, Blanche, I'll laugh on the inside.

Stephanie: Do you have a Valium?
Rose: No. But I do have a tangerine Lifesaver. That always helps chase the blues away for me.
Stephanie: No, thanks. I don't like the hard stuff.

Dorothy: Blanche, what's all that stuff?
Blanche: Well, I know how down in the dumps we've both been since Rose moved out, so I thought I'd buy
us a little something to cheer us up.
Dorothy: How sweet of you.
Blanche: I know. This is for me. This is for me. This is for me. This was for you, but it's so cute, now it's for me. This is for you.
Dorothy: Edible panties. Oh, what a lovely sentiment. Thank you.
Blanche: You really like them?
Dorothy: Like 'em? I love 'em. In fact, I may have the waistband with a glass of milk before I go to bed tonight.

Dorothy: Look, we are upset about Rose. We don't want to be entertained.
Sophia: All right, I'll give you a point without a story, but just this once. If you really miss her, go tell her. Maybe she misses you too.

Blanche: Wait. If she misses us, why hasn't she called?
Dorothy: Maybe she died, Blanche. It happened before. Maybe this time it took.

Rose: Hello, front door. Did two ladies just leave?
Front Door: Yes, ma'am.
Rose: Thank you. ... Hello, front door? It's me again. My name is Rose Nylund in 118. I- We haven't actually met, and I know this may sound a little bold, but I was wondering if... Do you suppose you might like to go and have a cup of coffee?
Front Door: I'd like to, but I'm pretty heavily involved with 122.
Rose: Sounds like a nice number. Good night.

Dorothy: So, what do you want to do tonight?
Blanche: I guess we could be constructive and clean our closets.
Dorothy: We could go to a movie.
Rose: We could do what we normally do. Talk dirty and pig out.
Dorothy: I'll get the bowls and the spoons.
Blanche: I'll get the ice cream.
Rose: I'll get the chocolate sauce and whipped cream.
Rose: Anything interesting happen while I was gone?
Blanche: Does this mean you're back?
Rose: If you'll have me.