Rose: Is something wrong?
Dorothy: Yeah. Is something wrong? You want him back?
Rose: No, no. I just wanted to make sure he was gone. I have to tell you what happened. I died. I died and went to heaven.
Dorothy: Rose, honey, you didn't die. You passed out. You hallucinated. Remember that New Year's Eve when you had the three margaritas? You thought you were an animated broom in Fantasia?

Sophia: Hi, cookie. How are you feeling?
Rose: Fine, Sophia. But I did die. I died and went to heaven.
Sophia: That's nice. [to Blanche] Find out what pills they gave her and ask for a doggie bag.

Dorothy: Frankly, I am worried about her. You know, this new lifestyle is probably harder on her than on us.
Blanche: What do you mean harder on her? We're the ones that have to carry all the responsibility around here while she's out there "eating life".
Sophia: I ate Life once. Not a bad cereal. When we run out of Shredded Wheat, let's give it a try again.
Dorothy: Ma, go to bed.
Sophia: Maybe I'll have Shredded Wheat now. That way, we'll get to the Life sooner.

Sophia: Hey, I got a letter from Gina Marie Donatelli. Her cousin Joe is hanging the wallpaper in Tony Bennett's guest bathroom.
Dorothy: That's nice.
Sophia: He says celebrities stop by all the time. In one day, he saw Dean Martin, Liberace, Don Rickles and Mitzi Gaynor.
Dorothy: All of these people stopped by to use the bathroom in the same day?
Sophia: What am I, urologist to the stars? I'm just telling you what she told me.

Rose: Well, I guess this is it.
Blanche: Yep, guess so.
Rose: Isn't it funny how things turn out? Being dead really changed my life.
Dorothy: It does that for a lot of people, Rose.

Rose: How long have you lived together?
Stephanie: About a year.
Rose: Really?
Stephanie: Look, Rose, we all go our separate ways around here. Besides, you have your own friends, don't you?
Rose: Well, I've sort of lost touch with my new beach friends. But that's OK. I'm a Ioner. A rebel. Wow, I can't believe I'm actually living right on the beach. Oh, I remember the first time I ever saw the ocean. It was on my honeymoon. My husband, Charlie, and I drove from Minnesota to New York. Well, actually, we were driving to California. We were young and in love, and I was blowing in Charlie's ear. He lost his sense of direction on the turnpike. We didn't care. We were just so... [notices her roommate left] so crazy about each other that...

Blanche: I cannot believe it is Saturday night, and I, Blanche Devereaux, the most witty, stunning, criminally sensuous woman to come out of the South since Miss Tallulah Bankhead, do not have a date.
Dorothy: So what? I don't have a date, either.
Blanche: What's your point?

Sophia: What the hell is that?
Rose: It's a wedding cake for little Joanie Winston up the street. You know, Sam and Edna's daughter.
Sophia: That's a girl? Woof!

Dorothy: Rose, is that a wedding cake you're making?
Rose: It's my wedding present to little Joanie Winston.
Dorothy: Oh, Joanie Winston's getting married? How lovely. I wonder how she'll fix the hair on her ears.

Blanche: That cake looks delicious. Let's cut her up.
Rose: Well, I was gonna give it to Joanie Winston. But if you're really hungry, I'd still have time to make another one. Course I have to address those 3,000 envelopes. After I pick up the decorations for the hootenanny at the church. But that will still give me plenty of time to wash cars in the afternoon. And give blood before seven.