TV Quotes

Dorothy: Well, Ma, you must be glad that we're finished with the curse.
Sophia: Yeah, yeah, curse. I revealed a betrayal, and she didn't even cry. It was more fun tripping the rabbi. Is he still here?

Rose: Come on, Dreyfuss. You're always the last one to leave a party. [Dreyfuss barks] What's that? Timmy needs help? I know. You always hate it when I do that.

Derek: Blanche, my pet, I'm afraid there's been a terrible mistake. This gentleman thinks I stole your car.
Blanche: My car? You stole my car?
Derek: Borrowed, precious.
Police Officer: That's his story, but I know what happens with older folks like yourself. A guy comes to the door, he talks too fast, you get confused. You'd think they'd have more respect for senior citizens.
Blanche: I lent him the car.
Rose: Oh, come on, Blanche. You have to admit, when you get to our age there are people who can outwit us.
Blanche: I gave him the car. I knew exactly what I was doing. A tossed salad could outwit you, Rose.
Police Officer: Well, all right, ma'am. If you say you know this fellow, then I guess it's all right. You have a good night.

Derek: Well, let me start my rehabilitation by giving you back your lovely necklace.
Blanche: Thank you.
Derek: And your ankle bracelet.
Blanche: Thank you.
Derek: And your signet ring.
Blanche: That isn't mine.
Derek: Oh, well, then we're square.

Rose: So, you're Blanche's thief.
Derek: Blanche, a remarkable woman. I've known her just this evening, and she's already reformed me. The result of her benevolence, I shall steal no more.
Rose: Boy, I don't envy you. My friends in the work force say this is no easy time to be changing careers.
Derek: Those are lovely earrings you're wearing.
Rose: Thank you. They're family heirlooms. They're worth more than your lazy-ass husband will make in a lifetime. Or at least that's how Mom used to describe them to me.

Rose: Oh, Lord. I act like a bad girl once in my life and I get caught.

Dorothy: I'm telling Rose.
Miles: Hey, Dorothy, if you tell Rose, she'll think I'm trying to hide it.
Dorothy: Well, you are.
Miles: Only because you were. Hey, hey, now listen, if you're gonna tell her, I'm gonna tell her first.
Dorothy: What difference does it make who tells her first? Look, this isn't for our good, it's for her good. Now, let's just go out there and tell her.
Miles: Look, Dorothy, if you let me tell her first, I'll forget about the $500.
Dorothy: That's a lie.

Rose: Bad girl. I'm a bad girl.
Miles: Rose?
Rose: She's a bad girl.

Blanche: Yeah, I guess I'm all right. I mean, I threw my party because I wanted romance and excitement and moonlight madness, and that's what I got. I got it all with an English accent, and I didn't have to compromise my virtue. I feel like a lady again. And to tell you the truth, I'm startin' to get sick of it.

Dorothy: What a night. Doesn't it feel as though we just woke from a dream? You know, it really has been like Shakespeare, with magic and moonlight and the wrong people falling in love. I mean, what does Puck say in the last speech from A Midsummer Night's Dream? "If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumbered here While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream"
Sophia: Well, pardon me while I play the grand piano.