Miles: Well, wait a minute. Why should we be sorry? Come on, we're friends, we've known each other a long time. I mean, things like this just... Just happen. There is nothing wrong with two people showing each other how they feel. We're just friends.
Dorothy: We're scum.

Rose: Herring balls?
Dorothy: I'm sorry, Rose. I'm just sorry.
Rose: Oh, that's all right, Dorothy. Not everybody likes them. But boy, Miles has just disappeared. Have you seen him?
Dorothy: Maybe I will have a herring ball.
Rose: What about Miles?
Dorothy: And one for later.

Rose: Dorothy, where's the cheese?
Dorothy: Right turn, left turn, right turn. Must find the cheese. Must find the cheese.

Dorothy: Uh, let's say that you make Miles a batch of your delicious creamy cupcakes. And he loves them so much that he wants you to make them all the time.
Rose: Miles does have a sweet tooth.
Dorothy: But let's say that even though he loves your cupcakes more than life itself, one day he decides to try somebody else's cupcakes. For lack of a better example, let's say, my cupcakes. And I, in a mad, passionate moment, uh, forget myself and let him try my cupcakes. How would that make you feel?
Rose: I'd like to think I'd understand.
Dorothy: Oh. Good. Good. I was hoping that's what you would say. [Rose giggles] What?
Rose: I'm sorry. It's just the idea of Miles wanting to try your cupcakes.
Dorothy: Why is that funny?
Rose: No offense, Dorothy, but your cupcakes are dry and tasteless. Nobody ever likes your cupcakes.
Dorothy: My cupcakes are moist and delicious. Men love my cupcakes.
Rose: Get a clue, Dorothy. Men would rather pay for cupcakes.
Dorothy: Let me tell you something, you Swedish meatball, I've- Wait, wait a minute. You're actually talking about cupcakes, aren't you?
Rose: You bet I'm talking about cupcakes. What are you talking about? Wait a minute. Have you and Miles been baking together?
Dorothy: Rose, I would never do that to you. I swear.
Rose: Good. Because if I ever caught Miles with another woman in my kitchen, I'd... [smashes a ceramic mug in her hand]

Blanche: Oh, Dorothy, it's finally happened. I have met the man of my dreams. My reason for livin'. My soul mate. Oh, Dorothy, I feel as if I've known him for all eternity.
Dorothy: Oh, honey, what is his name?
Blanche: Derek somethin'.

Blanche: You're not gonna spoil this for me, Dorothy. He is perfect. He just takes my breath away. Oh, my gosh. My Grammy's necklace is gone. I'll bet it slipped off when I was showing Derek the view.
Dorothy: Blanche, we don't have a view.
Blanche: Speak for yourself.

Blanche: Oh, Miles, I'm looking for Derek. He's, uh, he's about yea tall, has a mustache, a British accent. Have you seen him?
Miles: Why are you asking me, Blanche? A man so blinded by carnal desire that he would throw away everything he holds dear for one forbidden kiss.
Blanche: Come on, Miles. Lay off the rum cake.

Blanche: Dreyfuss, what are you doing? That's not dog food. That's Herring balls. Eat. Eat.

Blanche: Oh, I hate him. God, do I hate him. Not only did he steal my necklace, but he betrayed my trust. Oh, please, God, let him get caught. Let him go to jail. Let him rot and die in some filthy cell with the rats gnawin' at his eyes.
Dorothy: You know, when you pray, the kitchen almost becomes a chapel.
Blanche: He made me think he was attracted to me, Dorothy. He deserves the electric chair. That'd shock the smirk right off his smug limey face.
Dorothy: But, Blanche, what if he didn't steal the necklace?
Blanche: Well, then we'll probably get married.

Sophia: Don't try to stop me, Dorothy. This curse is bigger than both of us. Well, bigger than me. I'm only doing this because I love you.
Rose: What is it, Sophia?
Sophia: I saw Dorothy and Miles kissing. I said, I saw Dorothy, your friend, and Miles, your fiance, kissing. Hello? Dorothy. Miles. Lips aflame. They were kissing.
Rose: And?
Sophia: And she's pregnant with his love child. What do you mean, "And"? Isn't that enough? Aren't you shocked?