‘Weird Al’
Season 3, Episode 15 - Aired February 17, 2016
Visiting her grandmother from out of town, Dana is not enthusiastic about going to a Weird Al concert, so Adam comes to accept their relationship may end. Meanwhile, when Erica and Barry become peer counselors at school, they soon discover Murray exhibits all the signs of depression and have a "counsel-off" to help him.
Quote from Erica
Erica: No, stop! No one listen to a word this douche-monger just said. Naked Rob, just open up to your Dad a bit. Nothing earns respect more than being honest with how you feel. And, Andy, it's perfectly normal to miss your grandpa, no matter what size you are. And, you, this girl, who's clearly me, just wants to be friends.
Geoff: My heart hurts, but I appreciate the open communication, and it only makes me like you more.
Quote from Erica
Mr. Glascott: Erica, look, I'm not gonna beat around the bush about this. I need you to become a peer counselor. You're smart, you're popular, and only you can undo the terrible damage that your brother is going to wreak upon this school.
Erica: I appreciate the offer, but-
Mr. Glascott: I'll give you an "A" in any class you want.
Erica: What? You can do that?
Mr. Glascott: Open up a file cabinet and make a mark with my pen? [Chuckles] Yeah, I can do that.
Erica: Seems wrong to give me an "A" in gym when I've been cutting all year. That said, I won't notice 'cause I'll be too busy counseling peers and stuff.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: But deep down, I think she's sweet and kind and beautiful, and it helps that she lives 3,000 miles away and I get Adam 98% of the time!
Pops: That's the whole problem right there, Bevy. They've been apart too long.
Beverly: Let's hope that Weird Al is just what they need to bring them back together.
Quote from Adam
Adam: Oh, my God. This is amazing! We got to get a photo of the two of us.
Dana: Yeah, that'd be nice.
Adam: Make sure you get Weird Al's whole body in it.
Quote from Barry
Barry: You seem angry, Bro. Know what cures me when I'm angry? Screaming into something. Here.
Try my rage pillow. It'll make you feel better. What? You're supposed to yell in it, not throw it at me! What's the matter with you? That's my favorite pillow!
Murray: I do feel better.
Quote from Mr. Glascott
Mr. Glascott: You kids made the right choice coming to old Glascott. Let's do this.
Erica: Well, technically, we came to you for a recommendation.
Mr. Glascott: And I recommended myself. I come highly recommended.
Quote from Murray
Murray: Is that what this is all about? You're worried about me?
Erica: You're very moody and sleepy and angry.
Barry: And you sit a lot.
Murray: I'm not depressed. I'm a Dad!
Quote from Beverly
Dana: That was the night of our first kiss.
Adam: Yeah. Best birthday ever. Wait. [to Beverly] Were you, like, lurking around the whole time?
Beverly: No.
Adam: Then how did you-
Beverly: Moving on.
Adam: Dude, were you spying on us?
Beverly: What? No. I was cleaning the closet, and, you know- Shh! Just focus on your love.
Adam: What the- You took that hanging off the roof?
Beverly: A photographer does what she needs to do to get the shot.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: Oh, Dana. You'll always be the best first love my baby could have. Besides me, of course.
Quote from Murray
Erica: Hey, can we talk?
Murray: No.
Erica: Not about feelings. We just want to apologize.
Barry: Yeah, we didn't realize you being so lazy and angry is actually you crazy happy.
Murray: I'm a simple guy. I sit in my chair. I watch TV. I yell at you two morons. And honestly, that's my happy place.
Erica: Well, it's good to know we don't have to worry about you.
Murray: Hey, that means you care.
Barry: You know, now would be a perfect time for you to actually smile.
Murray: Pass.
Barry: Worth a try.