Trending ‘The Goldbergs’ Quotes

Quote from Murray in I Caddyshacked the Pool

Murray: Hey, how are you doing?
Adam: Why are you in my room?
Murray: Just came by to say hi, and (mumbles).
Adam: What?
Murray: (mumbles)
Adam: What?
Murray: Y'know, (mumbles "you've got a beautiful body").
Adam: See, you keep trailing off specifically at the end.
Murray: You've got a beautiful body! This body of yours, beautiful.
Adam: Don't ever tell me that again!
Murray: Deal. But, let's be truthful. You don't have a beautiful body.
Adam: Thanks.
Murray: You're in middle school. Your body, it's stinky and greasy, and it's growing too fast. And, when you talk, it's like a broken kazoo. Those days were horrible. I remember them, I really do.
Adam: Since when have you had a shred of insecurity about your body? You'll go anywhere in your Tighty-Whities.
Murray: That's now. When I was your age, I hated my body. The good news is, I grew up and life beat me down so hard, I eventually stopped caring. And some day, life will crap on you so hard that you'll stop caring too.
Adam: That's oddly reassuring.
Murray: Trust me. Eventually you'll realize it doesn't matter what other people think.


Quote from Erica in The Opportunity of a Lifetime

Lainey: Actually, I've been working on a little riff.
Erica: Let's hear it.
[Lainey starts playing a riff very similar to Joan Jett's "I Love Rock 'n Roll"]
Erica: Keep going. I think I got something. [singing] I enjoy rockin' out So put another tape In the boom box, baby

Quote from Adam in Van People

Pops: Old Mother Hubbard just wanted to feed her poor dog and he...
Adam: Gotta let it go, man. Gotta let it go.

Quote from Beverly in So Swayze It's Crazy

Beverly: Schmoopy. Schmoopaloo. Schmoopy-booper. Schmoop de jour. Schmoopy doopy poopy soupy. Have a scoopy.
Adam: Stop saying variations of "schmoo" and go away.

Quote from Barry in O Captain! My Captain!

Beverly: Name three types of inert gases.
Barry: Easy. There's regular, unleaded, and farts?
Beverly: Farts?
Barry: Farts.
Beverly: The answer is not farts!
Barry: How is fart not a gas?!

Quote from Coach Mellor in O Captain! My Captain!

Adam: Whoa. Hey, hang on!
Coach Mellor: This better be important, Goldfarb.
Adam: It is. You double-skinned.
Coach Mellor: Oh, how about that? I did double-skin.
Adam: But you can't double-skin. It's Shirt, Skin, Shirt, Skin.
Coach Mellor: I can Skin-Skin anytime I like.
Adam: If you Skin-Skin, there's no rules. It's chaos. Maybe now you'll know what it feels like to be a young girl coming of age.
Adam: Wait, is this about Emmy?
Coach Mellor: The best teachers never reveal if it's about Emmy.
Adam: So it is about Emmy.
Coach Mellor: You should have just eaten the note. Everybody eats the note!
Adam: Why do people think eating paper is a viable option?!

Quote from Erica in The Dynamic Duo

Erica: [playing guitar and singing in the rain] I hate the rains down in Jenkintown.

Quote from Murray in Dinner with the Goldbergs

Beverly: Oh, hi. We need some more rolls.
Alex: Oh, I'm not your waiter, but I'll tell him.
Murray: Wait! It says "free refills." I'll have a Sprite.
Alex: Oh, again, I'm not your waiter, but, uh, I'll let him know.
Murray: Whoo-hoo! This family now has a bottomless soda. We're beating the system.

Quote from Barry in The Scrunchie Rule

Other Erica: Hey, bad news. Me and Hector saw "Roadhouse," so it's for sure another scrunchie night, 'cause, you know, Swayze.
Erica: Save it for your hair because I have my own guest from out of town.
Barry: That's me. Ooh!
Other Erica: Hey, my super cute outfits!
Barry: Sorry. I need a place for my Drakkar Noir line of shampoos, soaps, shaving creams, and of course cologne.
Other Erica: Oh, no. It smells like the boys' cabin at Camp Ramah before the Shabbat social.