Adult Adam: [v.o.] While Johnny and his friends spent their weekends partying and living it up, me and my frie ds spent our time swinging around lightsabers and perfecting our stage combat moves for drama club. That fateful day, being geeks all our lives had finally paid off.

Adam: Greetings, aimless sister. Thy brother has returned a hero.
Erica: Wow.
Adam: He thirsts for beer of the root.
Erica: Finally beat a bully, and yet you're nerdier than ever.

Johnny Atkins: Maybe we just call it even? I got a bootleg of "Highlander 2." Thought maybe we could check it out.
Adam: Oh, man, yes! Prepare to be majorly disappointed.

Johnny Atkins: I can't believe I'm in an actual school club.
Adam: Yeah, now you finally have something to put on your college resume.
Johnny Atkins: College? You blew it, Carla. You'll rue the day you ever picked Dave Kim over me. I'm a potential college applicant now.
Carla: Um, yeah, right. Davey K. respects me, listens to me, and hides from me because I terrify him. It's so hot.
Johnny Atkins: Damn it! I love her! Tell me exactly what I got to do to get into a fancy college and become a rich, international man of business.
Adam: I guess you can start by going to the college fair they have every year.
Johnny Atkins: Too much work. I'm out. Your advice sucks, Goldnerd.
Adam: [sighs] I wish we never had that play date.