Adam: Erica, wake up! It's the middle of the day! We need you!
Erica: Leave me alone. It's Sunday.
Adam: It's Thursday.
Erica: Ooh, I missed a job interview this morning. Guess the universe doesn't want me to be a sandwich artist.

Adam: No! My groggy sister may have no purpose or prospects, but she's right. We have to fight back 'cause we have something that Johnny Atkins and his crew don't have.
Dave Kim: All their baby teeth?
Adam: No.
Dave Sirota: A crush on their cousin?
Adam: No!
Dave Kim: Their very own fern?
Adam: No!
Beverly: A mama who will fix it?
Adam: No! We are all skilled with the blade. I myself have a lifetime of training with a lightsaber.
Beverly: You also have a mama who will fix it.

Adam: Mikey, Sirota, you both learned a ton of stage combat when you played Tybalt and Mercutio in "Romeo and Juliet," right?
Mikey: Yeah.
Dave Sirota: True.
Adam: And, Dan, your malnourished body has less surface area to poke and stab.
Dan: My pediatrician is concerned.
Adam: Dave Kim, your turtleneck protects your neck and extremities in a way no one can penetrate!
Dave Kim: That's neither true nor a skill, but your confidence has me amped!

Barry: I thought you said you were good for another 10 years?
Murray: Well, I had such a great time the other night that I wanted to see them again. You happy?
Barry: Doesn't mean the JTP won't drift apart like you guys did.
Murray: No, no, no. You guys won't because you have the one thing that we never had. You. You care so much about your friends that you got me back together with mine. Everyone needs a friend like you, moron.
Barry: Thanks, Dad.
Murray: Thank you.

Barry: Hey. I got you a little something.
Andy: What is all this?
Barry: I know it's not realistic to map out the next 120 years, but I can at least reserve eight days a year.
Naked Rob: That sounds doable.
Barry: Good. 'Cause I'm gonna work my ass off as a doctor so I can buy five season tickets to the Eagles games for the rest of our lives.
Matt: Dude, are you serious?
Barry: JTP forever.
All: JTP forever.
Barry: Andy, your hand's so small.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, I had my fair share of tormentors, and no one did it better than my main nemesis sax-wailin', pony tail-rockin' Johnny Atkins. Yep, he made my life miserable.
Johnny Atkins: Later, nerd losers. Eat my butt. I feel threatened, and I want to punch your face off.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And, thanks to shop class, I had to see a lot more of him.
Johnny Atkins: Hey, Goldberg. Whatcha workin' on there, man? Looks super cool.
Adam: Your interest excites me, but I'm also certain that this exchange will end in a dead leg, swirlie, or both.

Johnny Atkins: C'mon, I have a curious soul. Please, share your wooden gift with me.
Adam: Really? Okay, are you familiar with the fantasy action film "Highlander"?
Johnny Atkins: I am not. Tell me more!
Adam: Well, it's about a race of immortal swordsmen who clash throughout history, and it stars French action heartthrob Christopher Lambert!
Johnny Atkins: Sounds rad! I wish there was a way I could partake in the joy and delight it's given you!
Adam: I actually have the tape right here!
Johnny Atkins: Nice! Could you put it down on the table so I can take a better look?
Adam: You bet. [saw whirs]
Mr. Crosby: Atkins, unacceptable! Goggles on when you use that machine.
Adam: Aw, man, I helped you do it!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was February 20th, 1980-something, and my dad had just laid eyes on the perfect parking spot.
Murray: Ah, here we go. [tires screech] Whoa, did you see that?! That schmuck just stole my space!
Pops: Oy vey. Please don't get into one of your parking battles.
Barry: Look, there's an open spot right back there. Just go take it.
Murray: You really want to put my dead toe through three more spaces of walking?

Adult Adam: [v.o.] In that moment, Pops and Barry braced themselves for one of my dad's epic parking-spot screaming matches... Or hug?
Murray: Oh, it's so good to see you!
Pops: Wait, it must be an old friend.
Murray: Bink. A jinga, a janga...
Barry: What you're saying is impossible. My dad only has two friends in this world Bill Lewis and the mailman. That's it.

Erica: Dude, can you move? Urkel's about to question whether he did that.