Barry: Gah! These CDs are impossible to open.
Erica: Yes, Barry. Come back to college with me this weekend.
Geoff: Him?
Erica: He's the awful answer to my problems. [to Barry] You know how you always annoy me on purpose and drive me crazy?
Barry: It is my greatest joy in life. Which reminds me, hyah! [can clatters]
Erica: Yes. You are the worst. Can you channel that hateful, abrasive energy at my roommate and drive her away?

Adam: I'm off to Dave Kim's. He just got Super Mario Bros. 3. So, chances are, I'm coming home Sunday night with some wicked Nintendo thumb.
Beverly: Enjoy your Italian game, schmoopaloo.

Adam: Ooh, Mom, could you do me a solid and whip up some of our lemon loaf?
Beverly: Check your backpack.
Adam: No, a fresh one for Coach Mellor. He got hurt pretty bad, and it's sorta my fault 'cause I fell off a rope, which is sorta your fault, 'cause you didn't bail me out.
Beverly: That's on me. I was just trying to improve my life by reading a book on boundaries. Did you know I love you too much?

Beverly: You know, he's right. All my squishy-tushes are gone for the weekend.
Murray: Listen to that. What do you hear? Just your loud breathing.
Beverly: You know, it weirdly sounds both wet and dry.

Coach Mellor: Oh, hi. Welcome to Mellor Manor.
Beverly: I heard you weren't feeling great, so I whipped up a healing lemon loaf.
Coach Mellor: Bring it in. Bring it in. I can't wait to mash that up and drink it through a straw.

Beverly: You are coming home with me.
Coach Mellor: I could never intrude like that.
Beverly: Oh, intrude away. My house is empty and lifeless this weekend. It's no bother.
Coach Mellor: You think you could pack a bag for me? I have limited range of motion. Also, I'm so scared to be alone.
Beverly: I can't tell you how badly I needed to hear that just now.

Other Erica: Hey, bad news. Me and Hector saw "Roadhouse," so it's for sure another scrunchie night, 'cause, you know, Swayze.
Erica: Save it for your hair because I have my own guest from out of town.
Barry: That's me. Ooh!
Other Erica: Hey, my super cute outfits!
Barry: Sorry. I need a place for my Drakkar Noir line of shampoos, soaps, shaving creams, and of course cologne.
Other Erica: Oh, no. It smells like the boys' cabin at Camp Ramah before the Shabbat social.

Erica: Erica, you cannot scrunchie my disgusting out-of-town guest. That is against the rules. And turn off that sexy mixtape! Geoff made me that tape. Not to mention, eww!

Coach Mellor: Holy cheesy seafood! Your shrimp Parm is the Super Bowl of all meals.

Beverly: Hope you're hungry for some noodle kugel and a smoked fish medley.
Coach Mellor: No dinner for Coach. I got a mutiny below deck.
Beverly: Did you make today? Did you make poo-poos? Any poo-poos? 'Cause that's poison in the body, you know.
Coach Mellor: I suppose Coach could use some prunes.