‘The Prettiest Boy in School’
Season 8, Episode 2 - Aired October 21, 2020
When Adam starts his senior year in high school with a new look, he tries to bridge the gap between his old friends and his cool new friends. Meanwhile, Barry and Erica quickly regress when they return home for a week before they go back to college.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: What the... Your child knows how to vacuum?
Drew Kemp: Try and stop me. The home is a reflection of all of us.
Beverly: Barry and Erica just keep throwing Nerds candies in my path so I'm never quite done.
Chad Kremp: Look, Mom, the pears ripened, just like you promised!
Virginia Kremp: Well, what are you waiting for? Core those suckers and make a cobbler!
Chad Kremp: Oh, way ahead of ya. Already preheating the oven to "yum."
Beverly: Chad cooks?
Virginia Kremp: We cook together. I find it's a great time for us to catch up and reconnect.
Chad Kremp: Speaking of, how's your tennis elbow, Mom?
Virginia Kremp: Oh, much better. Thanks for asking, hon.
Chad Kremp: [chuckles] I meant to ask an hour ago. Life moves so fast.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: Damn it, I want this. Tell me how.
Virginia Kremp: Wait. You're asking me for parenting advice?
Beverly: I know it's insane, but I thought I wanted my children to be babies forever. But now I know what I want is to have adult, respectful relationships, like the kind you have with your kids.
Virginia Kremp: Well, right now, you're indulging their every whim, and they're taking advantage of you. You need to set limits, establish rules, and most of all, give them some responsibilities.
Beverly: But Barry says responsibilities hurt his hugging arms.
Virginia Kremp: The next time he says that, you say, "The seed you plant today becomes a flower tomorrow."
Beverly: I don't care about gardening, Ginzy. That's why I threw out your gardening gloves.
Virginia Kremp: Then when they act out, you say, "Let's reconnect after you've calmed down." Look... [chuckles] ...here's a list of helpful phrases.
Beverly: "I appreciate your understanding"? "Let's approach this from a place of mutual respect"? "This feels like a learning opportunity." This crap works?
Virginia Kremp: [Drew hugs Virginia] See for yourself. Mm.
Drew Kemp: Just 'cause.
Beverly: [shudders] I'm borrowing this instead.
Quote from Adam
Adult Adam: [v.o.] As my mom planned to steer her kids in a new direction, I knew one more thing that would drive my friends closer together.
Adam: Who's ready for bumper cars?
Dave Kim: Not me. My mom was recently in a minor car accident. This brings it all back.
JC Spink: Aw, I'll be right here, Bedspread. [chuckles]
Adam: Look at them. The best of friends. I really did it.
Brea: Are you sure bumper cars are a good idea? Seems like kind of a violent activity for groups that are notoriously unkind to each other.
Adam: Violently delightful. Everyone loves bumper cars.
Quote from Adam
Emmy: Hey! Take it easy!
Brian Corbett: She's showing weakness! Bash her more!
Emmy: Hey!
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Turns out bringing cool kids and geeks together was bumpier than I expected.
Dave Kim: JC, you know me! I'm Bedspread!
JC Spink: Sorry, bro.
Matthew: This is just assault.
Adam: Guys, stop! We're all friends here!
Dave Kim: But we're clearly not. I felt my brain bang against my skull!
Adam: I thought it would be fun for all the people in my life to come together.
Matthew: [scoffs] Maybe for you.
Adam: What are you doing?
Emmy: Making it easier for you. Just be with them 'cause you're definitely not one of us.
JC Spink: [bumps into Adam] There, there.
Quote from Beverly
Adult Adam: [v.o.] This was it. My mom could either keep indulging her terrible kids or take Ginzy's approach.
Beverly: I understand your request, but I'm confident you can take care of it yourself.
Barry: That's the opposite of what I want. Just haul the upstairs couch down here.
Beverly: I bet it would be even more satisfying if you did it yourself.
Barry: Why would I want to move a couch? That sounds heavy and boring.
Erica: Geez, Mom, just shove it down the stairs. Gravity does most of the work.
Beverly: I can see this is frustrating for you. Let's revisit when you've calmed down.
Barry: I'll be calm when I have my couch.
Erica: Why are you being like this?
Beverly: Because I am trying to have an adult relationship.
Barry: Adult to adult, take the cushions off first, it'll make it a lot lighter.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: I know I've indulged you, but I want something different now. I want to talk as equals. Maybe while one of you vacuums the stairs and the other one bakes a pear cobbler.
Barry: Oh, now I want you to make a cobbler.
Erica: With ice cream. And cookies. And drizzle on some fudge.
Beverly: That's not even a cobbler anymore.
Barry: You'll figure it out.
Beverly: Get the [bleep] out of my house.
Barry & Erica: Whoa!
Erica: And go where?
Beverly: That sounds like a problem you adults can figure out yourselves. [exits]
Barry: It doesn't matter what's on top! It's still a cobbler!
Quote from Murray
Murray: Any idea why Erica's sitting out on the front lawn and Barry's up in a tree?
Beverly: I kicked them out.
Murray: Eh, works for me.
Beverly: I was trying to end the Great Regression, but Ginzy's phrases didn't work, and then they refused to make me a cobbler when I wouldn't move a couch.
Murray: I have no idea what any of that means, but I do know that when our children stay home too long, they turn into morons.
Beverly: And it's my fault. Our whole relationship is based on me indulging them their entire lives. 'Cause I thought that's what a good mama did. But now that they're older, I just... I want something more.
Murray: Tell 'em that.
Beverly: I tried, but it didn't work, and then I threw them out on the street.
Murray: Well, then keep trying. You deserve to have the relationship you want with your kids.
Beverly: You think?
Murray: I know. Now, go outside and get Barry before he falls on his head.
Quote from Beverly
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Sometimes, we can indulge the people we love so much it's hard to see we're holding them back.
Beverly: Hey.
Erica: Hey.
Beverly: Look, I'm sorry I kicked you out.
Barry: We're sorry, too.
Erica: You do so much for us, and it was wrong to take advantage of your love.
Beverly: You will always be my babies. But I'd really like to try something new.
Erica: Way ahead of you.
Barry: [sighs] I cut down most of the Kremps' pear tree while we were homeless.
Erica: You mind if we chat while we make you a cobbler?
Barry: Yeah, like, what's your story?
Beverly: My story is that I am the luckiest mom in the world.
Quote from Mr. Glascott
Mr. Glascott: Hey! Notice anything different?
Adam: You're wearing roller skates?
Mr. Glascott: Inspired by your radical change, I decided to change myself. Now I'm Mr. Glascott the roller-skating guidance counselor. Check out my moves.
Adam: That's okay, I guess.
Mr. Glascott: You guess? It took me three days to learn that.
Adam: I just don't see how roller-skating is gonna help you relate to students any better.
Mr. Glascott: Watch and learn. Give me a little help here. [screams] Super-cool guidance counselor coming through!
Adam: That's why you start with a necklace.