‘The President's Fitness Test’
Season 1, Episode 19 - Aired April 1, 2014
When Adam worries about the upcoming Presidential Fitness test, Beverly offers to write a note to let him get out of gym class. Their plan backfires when Coach Meller says only a way to escape the test is a note from the President. As Beverly goes on a mission to get her son a presidential pardon, Murray tries to teach Adam the importance of trying. Meanwhile, Erica's French pen pal comes to visit, leading Barry to ask for his sister's help to impress their foreign house guest.
Quote from Beverly
Comptroller: Question, do you have any idea what a comptroller does?
Beverly: Of course. He comptrols the great state of Pennsylvania, and I need him to get me to the man who comptrols America.
Comptroller: Here's a thing. Uh, "comptrol," the way you're using it, isn't a word.
Beverly: Yes, it is.
Comptroller: No. No, it's not.
Beverly: It is.
Comptroller: Not really.
Beverly: Yeah, it is.
Comptroller: Definitely not a word. Straight-up not a word.
Quote from Erica
Erica: Mom, if he does not wear his pants and stop speaking French gibberish, I will leave this house forever.
Quote from Adam
Adam: I know you're aiming for down there, Ryan, but it's not cool!
Quote from Adam
Adam: What if you can't do a pull-up? I'm asking hypothetically for a friend that couldn't make it today. Name's Josh. You don't know him.
Coach Mellor: Well, if you are the kind of boy who is weak of will and spirit, you don't have to do it. Instead, you will join the girls in the flexed arm hang.
Adam: Josh is not gonna like that.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: Honey, it's so late. Why are you sitting alone in the dark? Oh, no. What's the matter?
Adam: Nothing.
Beverly: Poopie, something's wrong. There's a storm inside you, and I'm not leaving till I see a little sunshine.
Adam: Why do you always say super-weird stuff like that?
Beverly: Looks like someone needs a sugar shower.
Quote from Beverly
Adam: If you must know, the presidential fitness test is tomorrow, and I'm gonna be the only guy doing the flexed arm hang with the girls.
Beverly: Say no more. Mama will never, ever let anything remotely uncomfortable happen to you. I'll just write you a note and get you out of it.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: I'll write you a note.
Adam: Seriously? I'm gonna hug you so hard right now, I might break every bone in your body.
Beverly: Oh. Oh, come on, Adam. Don't be scared. You can hug me harder than that.
Adam: Okay. How does this feel?
Beverly: Mama will write you a note.
Quote from Murray
Erica: Are you kidding me? Where are your pants? My pen pal will be here any minute.
Murray: Doesn't having a pen pal come to your house defeat the whole purpose of having a pen pal?
Quote from Pops
Erica: Just because she's French doesn't mean she'll make out with you.
Pops: I beg to differ, actually. In my experience, the French demoiselle is very adventurous.
Quote from Barry
Barry: Erica, I'm gonna need your help. Here's a bunch of phrases I need translated into her native tongue so I can get a little of that native tongue.
Erica: "Girl, our countries have been at war too long. Let's make peace and love together."
Barry: Mmm-hmm.
Erica: You know what? I will help you.
Barry: Nice. I can tell by that smile we're on the same page.