Essie Karp: I just love having our fancy brunch in your fancy living room, Beverly.
Beverly: Oh, you're so sweet to call it fancy, Essie. But it is. So fancy.
Virginia Kremp: Not to be a nosy-Nellie, but why are there stickers on everything?
Beverly: Oh, my sweet Adam and Erica just can't wait to claim which of my heirlooms they want to display for their friends and family one day.
Virginia Kremp: Then why is everything stickered for Barry?
Beverly: What? Can't be right. Unbelievable.

Erica: "Michael Locati Auction House presents The Beverly Goldberg Million-Dollar Estate Sale"?
Adam: Oh, my God! Is this for real?
Erica: Look, $40,000 for our ugly-ass red garbage couch.
Adam: That's my couch I didn't want! But now I do!
Erica: No, you passed on it, so now it's mine. And I will fight you for it!

Beverly: Hey. [chuckles] I wasn't just standing out here waiting, but since I am here, I wanted to let you know that you're too late to have my prized heirlooms.
Adam: But those belong to our family!
Beverly: And soon they'll belong to wealthy European tycoons. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a Caribbean cruise to plan with the Frentas.
Erica: Those sassy cows are living high off our inheritance. Unreal!
Beverly: Well, I suppose I do have a few baubles left. If either one of you would like to claim them...

Barry: You leave me no choice, Father. It's time I express my feelings for you in a totally real and honest way.
Matt: You can do it, Bar!
Andy: No! Don't do it, man!
Barry: I'm scared, but there's no going back.
Geoff: I can't watch this.
Barry: Prepare to hear everything that's in my heart.

Coach Mellor: Okay, I think it's time for ol' Coach to scoot.
Barry: No, you stay!
Murray: What's happening?
Barry: I want everyone to watch me openly, directly communicate with my dad.
Murray: What? Don't do any of that.
Andy: This can't be done!
Barry: Dad
Naked Rob: Don't say it, man.
Barry: I care about you.
Naked Rob: Oh! He said it.
Geoff: I don't know where to look.
Murray: Stop using those words at me.
Barry: You mean everything to me!
Coach Mellor: Oh!
Naked Rob: Don't!
Geoff: It's too raw.
Barry: But I mean it.
Adam: No!
Coach Mellor: That's no way for a son to talk to his father.
Murray: I don't have to sit here and listen to this crap.

Barry: Don't you walk away from me. You will listen to all my loving words!
Murray: Why are you doing this?
Coach Mellor: Go, Murray! Go!
Barry: Just listen to me! I'm worried about you, okay?
Murray: Why? I'm fine.
Barry: I just want you to be around for a long time, okay?
Murray: I'm not going anywhere, moron.
Barry: But you can be better, do better. I need you healthy and here with me. I want you to be at my wedding, I want you to hold my baby someday. I want you to be in my life for as long as possible 'cause I love you.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] For the first time ever, my brother truly told my dad what was in his heart. Unfortunately, my dad just couldn't do the same.
Murray: I don't know what you want me to say here.
Barry: My friends are right. There really is no use in talking to dads.

Beverly: You know what's not fair? I've been collecting this stuff my whole life. For you.
Erica: Mom, we didn't ask you to.
Beverly: I know you didn't. But I need to know that at some point, you're gonna have a piece of this family in your house. A piece of me. But you don't want any of it. Clean up the owls.

Erica: Cute photo. Is that you?
Beverly: Yeah. I thought that couch was the most beautiful thing in the world. I used to fall asleep with my head in my mom's lap, dreaming we were European royalty.
Adam: That is a really nice story.
Beverly: Well, it doesn't matter now. Some stranger bought it and is doing God knows what with it.
Adam: From what I heard, it's actually being used as the showpiece of a living room.

Beverly: My beautiful red couch! It's back!
Adam: The auction house gave us the name of the guy who bought it.
Beverly: You spent thousands of dollars to get this back? For me?
Adam: Thousands, for sure.

Beverly: Then let's celebrate. Make yourselves comfortable, and I'll go get us some Orange Shasta and pound cake!
Erica: To eat in here? But what about all the crumbs?
Beverly: I think it's time we use our living room for actual living.