Adam: Why do you always wear a tie in shop class, anyway? It literally can get caught in everything.
Mr. Crosby: I dress nice for the wood because I honor the wood. I expect the same from my students.
Murray: I get the boy can be a bit of a smartass, but it's just wood. I don't know why you got to honor it.
Mr. Crosby: I'll tell you why, sir. I lived in a suspended bamboo cage for three years.
Principal Ball: Oh, boy. Uh, Derek, while we all thank you for your service, I don't think we need to hear-
Mr. Crosby: It was a simple design, but sturdy as hell. Naturally, I tried to saw through it with a crude tool I had fashioned from my hair and some toenails.
Principal Ball: Could we just stay on course-
Mr. Crosby: But as time wore on, the jungle madness took me. I tried to summon a monkey army to free me from my elegant fortress.
Principal Ball: Okay, just speed through to the end.
Mr. Crosby: I soon realized that I needed to forgive the wood that encaged me.
Principal Ball: Just, uh [whistles]
Mr. Crosby: And when a monsoon swept my captors into a river, that cage became a raft to freedom. And so, I have dedicated my life to the art of woodworking.

Beverly: Don't worry. Our girl's just going through a little phase.
Geoff: Is she? 'Cause it kinda feels like Erica's outgrown The Hooters and cooked fish and attractive clothing and Philly's own "wudder ice." She kinda-
Beverly: Kinda what? Say it.
Geoff: I can't say it.
Beverly: Say it, Geoff.
Geoff: I don't wanna say it.
Beverly: If you don't say it, I'll say it.
Geoff: No, don't say it.
Beverly: Then say it.
Geoff: Erica is a giant [bleep].
Beverly: Whoa!
Geoff: What were you gonna say?!
Beverly: That college has made her snobby and pretentious.
Geoff: That's what I meant.
Beverly: Well, that's not what you said.
Geoff: Oh, no! I'm so upset! You made me say it! Now I feel horrible!

Beverly: Pull it together, Geoff. If we don't do something, Erica's gonna leave Jenkintown behind to experience the world and become an interesting person.
Geoff: But how do we stop it?
Barry: You can't stop it. Your only choice is to become it.
Beverly: Barry, no. That brie wheel is for an entire party.
Barry: I can now handle the richest of party cheeses since I've become accustomed to how the other half lives. Now, pardon me, and prepare to be amazed, as I drink this water.
Geoff: [gasps]
Beverly: He said it right. How, Barry?

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Turns out, Barry had been obsessively studying the ways of the wealthy, thanks to one iconic '80s TV show.
Beverly: "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"?
Barry: Thanks to Robin Leach, I now know everything there is about class and wealth. I study all the episodes to prepare myself.
Geoff: For what?
Barry: For when I'll be the Sixers star player and team doctor, which means, if I get injured, I'll be able to perform surgery on myself.
Beverly: I believe in you, cocoa tush!

Murray: That's what you get for telling bad jokes instead of getting good grades.
Adam: It's not like I'm gonna use anything I've learned in shop class or math or science or history. Sex Ed cleared up some rumors, but that's it.

Barry: Ahoy, and welcome aboard on our journey to riches and fame-awcity.
Beverly: Oh, I bet the letters stand for stuff.
Barry: Oh, yes. It's called a mammogram. And we start with C, for clothes. From now on, you'll only wear the finest fabric known to man velvet, silk, all the leathers.
Beverly: Okay, I guess we could hit Filene's Basement, see if there's anything in the bargain bin.
Barry: Never! You now only shop upstairs at Filene's, where they have fancy windows and you pay full price.
Beverly: Full price? Can that even be done?

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Then came A, for Accents, which means you sound sophisticated, and from anywhere but Philly.
Barry: Now tell me what's in this glass. Don't think, go.
Beverly: Water. Ooh, my God. I'm learning.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] And last, the double S, which stood for Snooty Sauce. All you had to do was learn how to ask for it.
Beverly: Pardon me, have you got any Grey Poupon?

Adam: [to Murray] You're actually laughing! At "227"? What is happening?
Barry: I'll tell you what's happening. Big Tasty's getting a taste of the high life.
Adam: Please, I'm in the middle of a very important discovery right now. Do not butt in with your insanity.
Barry: You know what's insane? This delicious jar of caviar.
Murray: How the hell are you paying for caviar?
Adam: No. This is not about him right now.
Barry: I cashed in one of Nana's bonds to get a little taste of Beverly Hills. [muffled] Oh, no! It's so salty!
Murray: They're fish eggs, you moron.
Barry: Fish lay eggs?! [Murray laughs] It's stuck under my tongue! I need milk!

Beverly: Fancy seeing you here. So fancy.
Geoff: Indeed.
Erica: Okay, why are you here and talking like that and dressed like the cast of "Dynasty"?
Beverly: What, you mean these old new full-priced rags from the real Filenes Above Ground? Hmm. We stopped there on the way here.
Geoff: Pocket square?

Beverly: I read about this little musical powwow in The New Yorker.
Erica: No, you didn't. I literally told you I was coming here.
Geoff: Did you, now? Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho.
Erica: What is that? Why are you doing that?
Beverly & Geoff: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho.
Erica: Stop ho-ho'ing. You sound like douchey Santas.
Beverly & Geoff: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Other Erica: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Erica: Why are you doing it?
Other Erica: It seems like what you do.