Naked Rob: It is. Thanks to my older bro, I'm always the one who dealt it, regardless of who smelt it.
Andy: And my older sister decided to take my room. So now I sleep on the couch.
Geoff: Why not take her old room?
Andy: And have her take it back? [chuckling] No. I'm not jumping on that carousel.

Geoff: Don't worry, Bar. I'm staying.
Barry: A man of courage.
Geoff: Oh, you misread that. I-I'm not here for you. I-I get to stay because it's Erica's will.
Barry: This is not fair! We're both freshmen! We're technically equals!
Geoff: He does have a point, angelface.
Erica: Whoa, whoa, whose side are you on, Schwartz?
Geoff: Sorry, Big Tasty. Erica's threatening tone was new information.

Adam: And you put that right here in a book about food. So, you clearly know what you're doing.
Beverly: Would you mind reading the whole thing, and telling me what you think before I send it in?
Adam: I think I get it. A horse drags a lady, pancake dippers, a cousin gets stomped. You got yourself a winner, lady.

Geoff: Guys, no punching... Asleep or otherwise. In here, you'll find clear instructions on how to share everything. Like the mini-fridge.
Barry: No way. I promised my perishables a safe haven.
Erica: You put your sheets in there.
Barry: You know I run hot!
Erica: It's the dead of winter, barfbag! You should really get your circulation checked.
Barry: Already did. It's a trouble area, like you.

Beverly: There he is!
Adam: Gah! Were you just waiting for me at the door?
Beverly: Well, yes, but only for hours. Now, tell me, tell me, tell me how much you loved it. I'll start you off. "It was perfect."
Adam: I-I hear people saying that... Like you, right now. [Beverly chuckles] And I also want to add... You did it, girl.
Beverly: Yeah, well, what about my writing, my stories? Were they everything you thought, and more?
Adam: Oh, so much more. You did it, girl!
Beverly: You said that already. Get to it.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Well, I had given her the top slice of bread. I guess it was time for the meat.
Adam: I hated it hard. Change every word.
Beverly: Excuse me?
Adam: But wait, before you get upset... [stammers] You did it, girl.
Beverly: What are you saying to me?
Adam: Oh, balls! My sandwich sucked!

Matt: Actually, I need to be at the Gap early anyway to add a new level to the jean wall.
Naked Rob: And if I don't get 12 to 14 hours of shut-eye, I am a wreck.
Andy: I think you're struggling with seasonal depression, bro.
Naked Rob: For sure.

Erica: Fine. You want the room? Then I get the car tomorrow.
Barry: What? It's my car day! I was gonna do fishtails in the ShopRite parking lot! Geoff-er-ee, throw a flag.
Geoff: Again, my fault for assuming you two would demonstrate the most basic courtesy to each other.
Barry: Fine! Take the car. I'm taking the computer.
Erica: Uh-uh! I have a paper due tomorrow!
Barry: That you're gonna have to write by hand.
Erica: No! Geoff, do something.
Geoff: Bar, the computer's supposed to be for doing actual work, not to hug vindictively so as to prevent someone else from using it.
Barry: Well, you never specified that.
Geoff: He got me. I never explicitly said "no computer cuddling."

Murray: Hey! We're watching The Equalizer.
Pops: Now we'll never know if things were equalized!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] And read they did... Page after page of dour tales and unappetizing family history. My mom couldn't wait to hear what they had to say.
Beverly: Stunned silence is always a good sign. But I need to hear how much you liked it.
Murray: I liked the part where it ended.
Beverly: Oh, poo, you're just being an old grump. Dad?
Pops: There's no place for an amputation story in a chicken piccata recipe.
Beverly: Oh, no. Was Adam right? Maybe he's not a teenage butt stain.
Murray: That sounds right. Now, if you just scooch to your left and then crouch down really tiny, we're back in business.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] My mom finally got that her cookbook wasn't great, so she brought me an apology that was.
Beverly: Schmoopy, I made your favorite... Ooey-gooey marshmallow cookie bars.
Adam: Wait, you made me cookie bars after I told you your life's work was a smelly garbage fire?
Beverly: You never said those words.
Adam: Out loud.