‘Riptide Waters’
Season 9, Episode 3 - Aired October 6, 2021
When an injured Mr. Glascott campaigns to close the local water park, Barry fights to keep a part of his childhood alive. Meanwhile, Geoff is caught in the middle as Erica and Beverly butt heads over the wedding planning.
Quote from Mr. Glascott
While Erica had left Geoff high and dry, the fight over Riptide Waters raged on.
Mr. Glascott: Why, hello, young lady. Is your mother home?
Essie Karp: Well, aren't you a big ball of charm.
Mr. Glascott: I am playful, but to be clear, I am here with a petition for you to sign.
Barry: Stop. Don't sign that man's dumb thing. Sign my dumb thing.
Mr. Glascott: [sighs] Barry Troublemaking Goldberg, what are you doing?
Barry: Just keeping Riptide Waters open for future generations to enjoy. Every child deserves water fun in a barely supervised atmosphere.
Mr. Glascott: Incorrect. All 50 acres are an aquatic torture chamber.
Essie Karp: Ooh! You know how Gravity Falls dumps out into an actual river? I once hit a trout who swallowed my wedding ring.
Mr. Glascott: Exactly. It's a hazard for child and odd lady alike.
Essie Karp: Yeah, I'm gonna sign neither and shut the door.
Quote from Geoff
Erica: The hell, dude?
Geoff: Dr. Carl would say find the positive here. With your mother less involved, now we can plan the wedding that you want.
Erica: I guess that would be nice.
Geoff: There we go. "Nice." "Awesome's" slightly less exciting cousin.
Erica: Okay, let's do it. Wedding stuff.
Geoff: I can't believe I was worried just 'cause Dr. Carl wears a leather sun hat.
Quote from Barry
Adam: Barry! I'm helping you save Riptide Waters!
Barry: Oh, finally! My hand's cramping up from copying all these names out of the phone book.
Adam: But we won't need fake signatures. We need to paint a picture of what this park really means to people.
Barry: Like a mural of different faces on a downtown wall?
Adam: No, Barry. We're making a movie.
Barry: Better. And I only wasted three days of college on this.
Quote from Andy
Adam: Aaand cut, I guess?
Barry: Gentlemen, well done. Your boring stories are gonna save this place.
Naked Rob: Maybe I'm not Naked Rob. Maybe I'm just a boy who lost his suit.
Andy: There's a darkness in the corner of my soul. Did I bring something back with me?
Matt: Maybe we shouldn't be trying to keep this place open.
Quote from Bill Lewis
Bill Lewis: Hey. Sorry I'm tardy. Dolores is in the car applying eyeliner. She just sent me in to let everyone know that I'm an insensitive man who doesn't understand that "you look tired" is not a helpful comment, so...