Pops: Wow! That's fantastic. I need a copy of this right away.
Adam: I'm on it.
Pops: Go, kiddo. [to Barry and Lainey] Okay, he ran off 'cause I acted insanely excited. We got to talk.
Lainey: If you're here to tell us we're impulsive idiots and too young to get married on a mere whim, then take a number.
Pops: No. In honor of your engagement, I'm giving you a nice little nest egg.
Lainey: Your grandfather is giving us actual money?
Barry: Boom!
Lainey: We're rich.

Barry: Is this money from the olden times, 'cause I have no idea what I'm looking at.
Pops: That's a savings bond. And with interest, one day, it'll be worth 2,000 big ones.
Barry: What if our interest is in getting money right now at this moment?
Pops: You can't. Right now, it's only worth 500 bucks.
Barry: Boom!
Lainey: We're rich.

Erica: Mom, this dynamic where you always barge in my life and embarrass the crap out of me has to stop. I'm an adult now, and it's time you treat me like one.
Beverly: You're right. As hard as it is to imagine, you're not my little squish anymore. I need to start respecting your boundaries.
Virginia Kremp: You don't do that for us, Beverly.
Beverly: Shut your [bleep] mouth hole, Ginzy.

Mr. Glascott: [singing] Jessie's girl I want, I want Jessie's girl Ohh! Thank you. Thank you so much. Uh, fun side note I actually have a friend named Jessie, and I do indeed dangerously pine for his girlfriend. [chuckles] She will be mine one day. One day, she will be mine-
Gary: Okay. Okay. Okay, okay. Alarming stuff. Thank you.

Barry: Pops, my old friend. We'd like one additional nest egg, please.
Pops: What? The nest egg is gone already? It's been four hours.
Barry: It's kind of a funny story, really. It's hard not to buy stuff when you really want to buy stuff.
Pops: That's not funny or a story.

Erica: I know it's really confusing, but I want you to come to karaoke, and you can stay as long as you want.
Beverly: Daughter want time? Me-me?
Erica: Okay, I'm gonna need you to reboot your brain, because there will be a few ground rules here, understood?
Beverly: Ah-kuh-mon-man. Whatta Wat?!
Erica: The general idea is you don't embarrass me by being you.
Beverly: Huh? Huh? Huh?
Erica: So that means no haranguing my boss or complaining about the service or sending back food or using expired coupons, and for God's sake, no mom dancing.
Beverly: What's mom dancing?
Erica: Go on. Bust a move. Yeah, that. None of that. Also, there will be no mother/daughter duets ever.
Beverly: Oh, well, tell that to the Judds, but fine.
Erica: To clarify, there's no singing at all, because you'll just destroy the vibe with your lame mom songs. And what are mom songs? Anything by Bette, Babs, The Beach Boys, or Barry Manilow. No doo-wop, no bebop, no power-pop, and you know what? Just no songs at all.
Beverly: No singing. Got it. All that matters here is I agreed to stay out of your life, but the truth is you want me in it. [dances]
Erica: I already recognize that this is a huge mistake.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] So, just like that, Barry took to being a frugal Murray. And he was not kidding around.
Adam: Hey, I was playing a game!
Barry: Read a book.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] No one was spared.
Barry: Hi-yah! No sinks. Water costs money.
Pops: But I gotta take a pill.
Barry: Choke it down dry, old man. We're all about savings in this house. Hey! No one touch the thermostat! It's fall, which means it's basically summer.
Murray: Finally, I know what it's like to be a father.

Barry: Is it here? Please tell me the electricity bill is here and I'm stinking rich.
Murray: Oh, it's here, and you saved like a pro.
Barry: How much did I make for my nest eggs? $2,000? $3,000?
Murray: You saved 6 bucks.
Barry: What?! I've been up everyone's ass for days. I damaged every relationship I had to save money.
Murray: I know! Damaging relationships is just the bonus.
Barry: You've got a real problem, man.

Beverly: [singing] I wish that I had... Bevy's girl.
Erica: Mom.
Beverly: I baked her in my belly.

Gary: Hey, guys. I'm glad you're having fun, but there's a bachelorette party over there that is hoping to get a chance to sing.
Erica: Wait, do you work here?
Gary: Work and own. Name's Gary.
Geoff: Wait. You're the Gary Oke?
Gary: No, actually, it's Gary Globberman.