Adult Adam: [v.o.] And so the JTP set out to brainstorm what makes a man.
Barry: A cowboy hat.
Matt: Uh, youthful optimism?
Barry: Leather pants and work gloves.
Matt: What about a bullwhip? And he puts out cigars with the bullwhip, and then he says cool things like, "Smoking kills, and so do I."
Barry: And a scar! But not from whipping. From making love on a cliff.
Matt: And a suede vest with lots of fringe.
Barry: And he smells like the woods.
Geoff: How do we film a smell?
Barry: We'll just cover you in pine cones and tree sap.

Geoff: So, tell me, how'd you do it? How did you win Mr. Ships Ahoy?
Pops: When it comes to wooing the ladies, some things never change.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] But actually, they do. A lot.
Pops: Wink at every dame in the room. When in doubt, goose the caboose. Tell them you've ridden in an airplane. Spoil them by buying them a nice pair of nylons.
Geoff: I think times and women's rights have changed a lot, and also, how do these ideas make me hotter?
Pops: It's not all about muscles. Anyone can lift a bag of nickels, but it takes a special kind of fella to cheer up a woman during wartime rationing.
Geoff: What do I do if there isn't a war going on?
Pops: Easy. What are you good at? I won my year with a dynamite banjo act.
Geoff: I'm okay at alto sax.
Pops: If that's the best you got, go with that.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, the economy was booming, Americans were heading into the office. No one was more into working 9:00 to 5:00 than my mom.
[Dolly Parton's 9 to 5 plays over a montage of Beverly waking up, getting ready for work and commuting]
Beverly: [sings along] ♪ Working 9 to 5, what a way to make a living ♪ Barely getting by, it's all taking and no giving ♪ They just use your mind, and they never give you credit ♪ It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it ♪
Principal Ball: What do you think you're doing?
Beverly: Oh, I'm just exercising my right as an American to complain about the rat race, the grind, the old 9:00 to 5:00. But secret story... I love it.
Principal Ball: But we're a school. We start at 8:00.
Beverly: But the Dolly Parton song...
Principal Ball: Look, no one loves the Smoky Mountain Songbird more than I do, but that Backwoods Barbie has no bearing on our hours.
Beverly: My coworkers/best buds will share a chuckle about our overbearing boss. [they both laugh] You're a joke.