Barry: What the crap? That looks like a computer version of me!
Adam: Really? I don't see it.
Barry: It's says my name right there! Dude! You can't make a game about me without express written consent!

Bill Lewis: Mm. That lucky bastard! I'll tell ya, if I was an older lady, I wouldn't mind spending a little time with him.
Beverly: This is a nightmare.
Bill Lewis: Relax. I said if I was a lady.
Beverly: No. I'm talking about my dad's gambling. He just tried to borrow money from Bill, of all people.
Bill Lewis: Oh, Lord, she's right. I'm not the person you ask for money. My net worth is seven.

Adam: Well, there's always a main hero, like Mario here. And see those hammers? Those are like power-ups.
Beverly: Schmoo, take your Flintstones vitamin so you can grow big and strong like Bamm-Bamm.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Eating my own power-up made me realize I didn't have to look very far for inspiration.
Murray: I'm home!
Adam: Wait, that's it! We'll make the game about my insane family.
Dave Kim: And that's entertaining how?
Murray: I had a good day! Don't anybody spoil it by talking to me!
Adam: See? Every good game has a big snorting boss who stomps around making everyone miserable! And we need stuff for our hero to dodge, like barrels and fire and dopey wandering henchmen. [Barry punches Adam] Owww-why?
Barry: 'Cause maybe I want to sit in that chair at some point today!
[Erica plays notes on the keyboard]
Adult Adam: [v.o.] My game was writing itself. I even got an annoying video game theme song, thanks to my aimless sister.
Erica: Wait. That's it! I got my hit song! Banana, banana Banana, banana Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. That sucks.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, the Goldbergs would become an actual computer game. But was the world ready?
Murray: Bevy! I forgot to take my shoes off, and now they're stuck! Damn it, I'm pants-trapped again!
Adam: Eh, we'll tone it down for America, make 'em more likable.