Barry Quote #827
Quote from Barry in Major League'd
Adam: Gentlemen, Principal Ball and Mr. Crosby are Major Leagueing this team.
Dave Kim: What?
Barry: Just one glaring problem with your theory. If he wanted us to lose, they'd never let me pitch.
Adam: Barry, he let you pitch because of how bad you are.
Barry: Adam. A word? Just between us, the last thing I would want is for me to seem weak in front of the team, but what you just said about my pitching hurt me to the core.
Andy: Uh, bro? We can hear everything you're saying. You're, like, not that far away. [Barry pushes Adam away a few steps]
Adam: I'm sorry. I just thought it was important you all know the truth.
Barry: But I don't suck. I'm literally gonna cry right now.
Matt: Guys, it's not so much a distance thing as a volume thing, 'cause we're getting every word.
The Goldbergs Quotes
‘Major League'd’ Quotes
Quote from Erica
Erica: Okay, let's just take a deep breath of the fresh mountain air and think. I lied my way into this mess. I can lie my way out of it.
[cut to:]
Erica: And just as the scholastic gala was ending, Geoff and I walked outside and found a sack of abandoned puppies. Naturally, we raced the car to the animal hospital, but there was a drawbridge being raised and we tried to jump it for the puppies because we're good people, but the car didn't make it. Luckily, we're fine and so were the two dozen puppies that have now all found homes.
Quote from Beverly
Beverly: Drawbridges are death ramps. My nail girl's brother tried to jump a drawbridge. They found his head and torso on a fishing trawler. He's in culinary school now, but every day is a struggle. Thank God the two of you were not hurt.
Quote from Barry
Erica: Move, dumbass. We can't see.
Barry: I know. I was once like you. But thanks to major advances in contact-lens technology, I now have the vision of an eagle holding a telescope. Now that I have better-than-perfect vision, a whole new world of careers has opened up for me. Be hold. I can now be a fighter pilot, umpire, professional Where's Waldo-finder, Avid reader, guy who writes things on rice, long-distance peeping tom, and Olympic athlete.
Erica: It's a tad late to start training for the Olympics.
Barry: Not with these laser-focused baby browns. Oh, God, my contact lens popped out. Help. Help me.
Erica: Mark my words, if Barry somehow makes it in, it will be the most memorable thing to ever happen at the Olympics.