Geoff Quote #114

Quote from Geoff in Major League'd

Erica: Hey, Mom, Geoff has some thoughts on your new Jazzercise ensemble that he wants to share with you.
Beverly: Ah, don't you just love it, Geoffrey? The Lycra is form-fitting, but it still gives me the freedom to explore all my moves.
Geoff: Uh, well, I suppose I enjoy the bold colors and the sleeve length and- Oh, my God. Also, one time at summer camp, I took a puff of a cigar and then it made me really nauseous and I threw up in a lake.
Erica: And there it is.


 ‘Major League'd’ Quotes

Quote from Barry

Erica: Move, dumbass. We can't see.
Barry: I know. I was once like you. But thanks to major advances in contact-lens technology, I now have the vision of an eagle holding a telescope. Now that I have better-than-perfect vision, a whole new world of careers has opened up for me. Be hold. I can now be a fighter pilot, umpire, professional Where's Waldo-finder, Avid reader, guy who writes things on rice, long-distance peeping tom, and Olympic athlete.
Erica: It's a tad late to start training for the Olympics.
Barry: Not with these laser-focused baby browns. Oh, God, my contact lens popped out. Help. Help me.
Erica: Mark my words, if Barry somehow makes it in, it will be the most memorable thing to ever happen at the Olympics.

Quote from Erica

Erica: Okay, let's just take a deep breath of the fresh mountain air and think. I lied my way into this mess. I can lie my way out of it.
[cut to:]
Erica: And just as the scholastic gala was ending, Geoff and I walked outside and found a sack of abandoned puppies. Naturally, we raced the car to the animal hospital, but there was a drawbridge being raised and we tried to jump it for the puppies because we're good people, but the car didn't make it. Luckily, we're fine and so were the two dozen puppies that have now all found homes.

 Geoff Schwartz Quotes

Quote from Dinner with the Goldbergs

Adult Adam: [v.o.] And with that, the Goldbergs officially broke the sweetest boyfriend in the world.
Beverly: Waiter, over here.
Geoff: No! This has never been our waiter! Look at his face! He's an entirely different person!
Erica: Geoff, you're making a scene.
Geoff: Oh, right, because the last thing we want is some unwanted, negative attention! This family should be barred from any and all dining establishments. I'm talking Beefsteak Charlie's, China Garden, Applebee's, even Tony Roma's.
Barry: I hear they make a top-notch shrimp scampi.
Geoff: Oh, my God. At a steak place, you get steak. And at a place for ribs, you eat ribs with your dominant hand without complaining that the world is prejudiced against you.
Adam: Burn! He got you good.
Geoff: And you, you know, despite your age, you still look like and sound like a tiny boy, so just order accordingly.
Beverly: He's right. You barely touched that steak.
Geoff: And you. You turned your purse into a mini-fridge. You took an hour to order, then stole food from that table, and then sent it back.
Pops: Hey, we're trying to enjoy Devon's graduation dinner in peace!
Geoff: And you! That's just a nice family trying to have a special meal together. Leave them alone!
Murray: What's Captain Soup going on about?
Geoff: And you, with your menu rules and your communal soda and you're forcing me to just eat soup? You think I didn't want steak?! I chose this place! I love their meats and their sides, and why do you keep eating through everything I'm saying right now? You know, you really are ruining our good people's name, and you know what I'm talking about.

Quote from Jimmy 5 is Alive

Erica: Dude, did you tape over your fifth birthday party?
Barry: That could have been anyone's parents.
Geoff: No, I remember that party. Your mom gave me a haircut because she said mine did a bad job.