The Goldbergs - Barry Quote #780
Lainey: We're about to record our audition for "Star Search."
Barry: That's right. And we're about to make "Bohemian Rhapsody" even better.
Erica: How do you make the greatest rock song in the world better?
Barry: It's right there in the title "Bohemian Rap City." Rap City.
Erica: Wait. You think it's Rap City?
Barry: Duh. How can they make a song set in a rap city and not have one single sick rhyme or fresh beat?
Quote from Barry
Barry: Hit it!
[Lainey sings and plays keyboards to Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" as Barry raps]
Barry: I'm so, so sorry
Lainey: Just killed a man
Barry: With the power of karate
Lainey: Put a gun against his head
Barry: And my foot
Lainey: Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
Barry: Killed him with my foot
Barry: You gave birth to a ninja
Lainey: Life had just begun
Barry: Now they're locking up my feet
Lainey: But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Barry: Oh, I also hit him with some nunchucks
Lainey: Mama, oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Barry: I'm sorry that he died I'm sorry I committed foot homicide
Lainey: Didn't mean to make you cry
Both: If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Lainey: Carry on, carry on
Barry: Barry's gone, Barry's gone
Lainey: As if nothing really matters
Barry: And you'll lose the world's best rapper
Lainey: Too late
Barry: I can't unkick his face
Lainey: My time has come
Barry: I'm moving to outer space
Lainey: Send shivers down my spine
Barry: I'm also from Mars
Lainey: Body's aching all the time
Barry: I forgot to mention that
Lainey: Goodbye, everybody
Barry: I'm an alien
Lainey: I've got to go
Barry: And I got no private parts, yo!
Lainey: Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Barry: I'll miss you, Rap City
Lainey: Mama, oooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Barry: And so I sail past the moon Goodbye, Rap City Hope I see y'all soon Blasting off to hyperspace Maybe you can follow me That's where I'll be starting my own rap colony Chocolate milk fountains on every street And big golden statues of my murderous feet My name is Big Tasty, and I am no comedian Just god of the universe Also I'm Bohemian Mm, mm, mm-
Lainey: Okay, I'm gonna stop you there.
Quote from Murray
Murray: Toys? You ruined my stamps over toys? Let's see how you like it. [grunting]
Beverly: What are you doing?
Murray: Ruining Adam's toy.
Adam: That's Stretch Armstrong. He's made to be unbreakable.
Murray: Ahh! [playing with Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots] Oh! Ha! I broke the red one's head.
Adam: Nah, that just means you won.
Murray: Say goodbye to these.
Adam: Those are Wall Crawlers. You're just playing with them as intended.
Murray: Bevy, I told you this would happen. I knew the moron would screw up my favorite hobby.
Beverly: But you said this was just a smart investment and not a hobby at all.
Murray: We both knew it was a hobby! [voice breaking] My favorite hobby in the world.
Adam: Oh, God, are you sad?
Murray: Enjoy your toys.
Quote from Murray
Murray: I know everything about stamps. My first job was sorting mail at the town post office.
Adam: Ohhh, balls. He's introducing new personal history.
Murray: Even though that job was long and mind-numbing, I was happy to do it 'cause I just lost my mom.
Adam: Ohhh, no! I've re-opened a terrible childhood wound.
Murray: The only thing that brought me joy that year was learning about the colorful postage from around the world.
Adam: Oh, no, those stamps hold a deep emotional value!
Murray: Of course they do. Those stamps made me happy. I want them back.
Quote from The Opportunity of a Lifetime
Beverly: I just I wanted to tell Barry, uh, [quietly] don't pitch.
Barry: Did you just call me a "dumb bitch"?
Beverly: No, I said "don't pitch."
Barry: What? That's even worse!
Quote from Cowboy Country
Barry: If I hear you say no again, I'm hulking out. We're talking screaming and swearing. I'm gonna smash this decorative box.
Murray: Do not hulk out. Do not smash that decorative box.
Barry: Say goodbye to the decorative box.
Murray: Your mom keeps her knick-knacks in there.
Barry: I'll destroy her knick-knacks too! Hulk doesn't respect knick-knacks..
Quote from Why're You Hitting Yourself?
Barry: My perfect girl? Well, she should have big blue eyes, and big blonde hair.
Beverly: Mmm, she sounds fun.
Barry: She shouldn't be afraid to speak her mind, you know? I mean, she should have a sensitive side, but still be a hard-ass.
Beverly: Oh, sit up straight, honey.
Barry: And I want her to take care of me. Cook, pick up my stuff, make me hot pockets.
Barry: By the way, thank you for the hot pocket.
Beverly: All right, and I'm on the case for my sweet, handsome, delicious boy.
Erica: You know you just described mom.
Barry: What!? I did n- Oh, my God! Mom! I meant a brunette who doesn't cook at all. And she's gotta be super shy and not related to me at all.