Adam Quote #622
Murray: Okay, toy time's over, moron.
Adam: This isn't toy time. It's the "Transformers"/ "Star Wars" crossover event the world's been begging for.
Murray: That's gibberish for "toy time," and you're too old for it. Here's how actual normal adult people have fun.
Adam: It's just a book of postage.
Murray: It's a collection of stamps.
Adam: Ohh, I get it. See, you grew up in olden times when there were no toys. All you had were dolls made out of corn cobs and a stick and a hoop. That's why you're an angry, broken man who thinks stamps are a hobby.
Murray: Learn about stamps or you're grounded, moron.
Adam: Fine. I'll give your tiny, lickable history squares a stupid chance.
Quote from Murray
Murray: Toys? You ruined my stamps over toys? Let's see how you like it. [grunting]
Beverly: What are you doing?
Murray: Ruining Adam's toy.
Adam: That's Stretch Armstrong. He's made to be unbreakable.
Murray: Ahh! [playing with Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots] Oh! Ha! I broke the red one's head.
Adam: Nah, that just means you won.
Murray: Say goodbye to these.
Adam: Those are Wall Crawlers. You're just playing with them as intended.
Murray: Bevy, I told you this would happen. I knew the moron would screw up my favorite hobby.
Beverly: But you said this was just a smart investment and not a hobby at all.
Murray: We both knew it was a hobby! [voice breaking] My favorite hobby in the world.
Adam: Oh, God, are you sad?
Murray: Enjoy your toys.
Quote from Murray
Murray: I know everything about stamps. My first job was sorting mail at the town post office.
Adam: Ohhh, balls. He's introducing new personal history.
Murray: Even though that job was long and mind-numbing, I was happy to do it 'cause I just lost my mom.
Adam: Ohhh, no! I've re-opened a terrible childhood wound.
Murray: The only thing that brought me joy that year was learning about the colorful postage from around the world.
Adam: Oh, no, those stamps hold a deep emotional value!
Murray: Of course they do. Those stamps made me happy. I want them back.
Quote from Mama Drama
Beverly: I'm gonna ask you a question which you need to answer with complete honesty. Is there a world in which you are not the deserving child for this role?
Adam: There's no such world.
Beverly: Honey, I can get involved. I want to get involved. But I need to know that's what you want.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Usually when my mother wanted to mix in, I'd push her away as far away as possible. This was not one of those times.
Adam: Do it, mama. Make me Jesus.
Quote from I Heart Video Dating
Adam: I see it now. We open on a time portal as Mr. Lewis' cold, naked body spills to the Earth. He rises from the smoke like a Love Terminator.
Erica: Yeah, no nudity or time travel. Just make Mr. Lewis look cool. You know, macho.
Adam: We're making a picture! An Adam F. Goldberg joint.
Erica: What's with the "F"?
Adam: There's another Adam Goldberg at school. He's super-sensitive. I don't want to cause any marketplace confusion.
Erica: Don't worry about it. No one cares about either of you.