Dave Kim: Dude, I got Lazar Wolf, the handsome town stud. That's typecasting Dave Kim likes.

Erica: [singing] It's for your bottom, but it's the tops Find happiness in just a glop From Dr. Steinman to every shop The one butt grease that never stops
Beverly: Wow. That is shockingly good.
Geoff: It's already stuck in my head and driving me nuts. You're a genius.
Erica: And that's not all! [singing] Pour it cold or drink it warm It's like seafood in liquid form It's Barnaby's, the juice of the sea
Beverly: Wow. You really worked hard on these.
Geoff: Okay, there's gonna be lines out the door to drink that salty fish juice.
Erica: And this next one is dedicated to you.
Beverly: Oh, that's not necessary.
Erica: No, it is. You talked to Marci and made all this happen for me. You have changed, and I love you.
Beverly: Just focus on the song.
Erica: [singing] You gotta remember, 'nog ain't just for December You can 'nog all summer afternoon.

Miss Cinoman: People, the moment has arrived. My dearest theater students and kids who do stage crew for some reason...
Dan: I work best in the shadows.
Miss Cinoman: No one cares, Dan. This year, William Penn Academy will be performing the most important musical of our time "Fiddler on the Roof"! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
Dan: Oh! Oh! Oh!
Adam: Meh.
Jackie: "Meh"? Since when does Adam Goldberg "meh" a musical?
Adam: Fiddler's just so heavy and dreary and Russian. I'm more into the happy toe-tapping musicals, like "Music Man" or "Pippin" or not "Fiddler."