Adam: It's just a few nightmares. I don't need your help.
Beverly: Tonight we're gonna start with a relaxing bubble bath.
Adam: No baths. I'm a shower man now.
Beverly: After that, I'm gonna toast up your jammies real nice in the dryer, and then I'll tuck you in real tight to seal in the safeness.
Adam: You do know that none of this will actually help me.
Beverly: For your information, science has proven that Mamas can love away the fear.
Adam: What science proves that?!
Beverly: At Yale, they scared a thousand kids. Half were given mama love. Half were given a placebo. Guess which kids stopped having nightmares?
Adam: None, 'cause it never happened!
Beverly: I could've been a scientist. I rest my case. Cause I could've been a lawyer as well.

Adam: Vin and Lynn are cool and thoughtful and political and go to protests-
Murray: Whoa, whoa, wait, they're hippies?
Adam: Oh, no! Don't mix in, too! Just go back to napping!
Murray: You never told me that your girlfriend comes from hippie stock! Oh, no!
Beverly: Great, now you got your father all riled up.
Adam: My God! Why do you hate hippies so much?
Murray: Because back in college, they were all off making free love, while I was making $2 an hour slicing rye bread in a deli!
Beverly: Enough with the rye bread, Murray. Take a walk.
Murray: Yeah, yeah.

Beverly: You know my number-one rule, No scary movies.
Adam: That's the thing, it's not scary. "Elm Street" is actually a very charming rom-com.
Beverly: "High school friends are slaughtered in their sleep by the predatory monster of their shared nightmares"?
Adam: Gah! What's the worst that can happen?
Beverly: I don't know. Why don't you ask Joyce Dimarco's son Anthony? He didn't sleep for three years after watching "The Exorcist," so his body never grew. Well, now he's a 4'7" adult man who needs a special stool to use a sink!
Adam: Mom, I've slept enough to reach every sink!