TV Quotes

Beverly: At least let me buy you girls dessert. Oh, there's a new "wudder-ice" place.
Geoff: Oh, man! Their "wudder ice" is amazing!
Other Erica: Okay. What are you people talking about?
Beverly: "Wudder ice."
Geoff: "Wudder ice."
Beverly: "Wudder ice."
Other Erica: What's "wudder"?
Erica: They're trying to say "water ice." It's a local dessert.
Other Erica: Ew. Your food and words are gross. I say we drive straight until we find some culture.

Erica: God, it all has to go, Erica. Poison, Madonna, New Kids? How did I ever buy into all of this top-40, MTV garbage? I'm actually embarrassed by who we were before we took Music Deconstruction 101 with Professor Chang-Silverstein.
Other Erica: That class has, like, opened my eyes. No, like, my ears. No, like, my mind.
Erica: Well, get ready to have your mind blown, because I asked Geoff to get us tickets to the Avant Garde Music Festival of New York City.
Other Erica: Stop, we are actually going to see Philip Glass and the Tibetan Throat Singers live?
Erica: Plus, there's a rumor that Yoko Ono is gonna scream onstage for a whole hour!
Other Erica: I'm gonna scream from the audience for a whole hour!
Erica: I can't believe that our lame-ass R.A. called us "poser freshmen who are going through a pretentious phase."
Other Erica: These personas we just discovered, like, last week are, like, who we are and are gonna be for the rest of our lives.
Erica: Exactly. I'll never return to who I was.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was now decision-making time. And for my dad, the only choice was how to save money.
Murray: Okay, it's time for Murray's menu rules. Remember, no prime cuts, no fancy sides, no out-of-season vegetables, no market price, no salad bar, no items in French, no dry-aged anything, and, most importantly...
All: No appetizers of any kind, 'cause that's how they screw ya.
Geoff: Does that include a nice soup?
Murray: Are you for real? Is he for real? You're gonna eat a little meal before you eat a big meal? How many meals do you need?

Erica: How is it my fault that every guy in our school is an unbearable moron?
Lainey: That's another thing. You gotta stop calling everyone a moron.
Murray: Morons! You're being too loud! Find another house to stupid up.
Barry: Oh my God, you're just like Dad! Way to go, Mur-man. Years of calling everyone on the planet a moron has poisoned your daughter's love life, and left her cold and alone.
Murray: So you're telling me that I've raised a daughter who doesn't want to date dumbass high school boys? I think I've done my job.