Barry: Call a guy and tell him something gross.
Geoff: Ew. Never. I'll take a zit sticker.
Erica: I knew you'd still be here!
Geoff: Erica, you came home to see me.
Erica: No, I came home to fight you all for invading my privacy.
Geoff: But Barry said you were fine with it.
Barry: That is not what I said, Erica. What I told them was, run, JTP!
All: JTP!

Barry: Gah! That's the third girl this week who shot me down. Don't these smoking hot scrubs know I dated Lainey for three years?
Andy: Don't ask me, dude. I haven't talked to a girl since my piano teacher told me to stop calling her.
Naked Rob: It's like the only people who see me naked now are you guys.
Matt: I used to have great luck with women, but it all dried up when I started hanging out with you dudes.
Barry: Coincidence, Matthew.

Adam: I've been waiting for this moment my entire life. I know your taste. It'll be quick and simple. Also, you'll be sitting.
Murray: Oh, I like this idea.
Marvin: Or, and I'm just talking out loud here, what if instead of simple, we made it incredibly complicated?
Adam: Ooh, I'm listening.
Murray: No, no. Do not encourage him.