Murray Quote #491
Adam: Me and Jackie are doomed. There's no saving this relationship.
Beverly: Pardon me. I couldn't help but overhear through the vent in the upstairs bathroom. Schmoo, if you want relationship advice, just look at me and your dad. We've been making it work for 25 years.
Murray: Makin' it work!
Beverly: Sure, we bicker. But in the end, we always compromise.
Murray: Right you are!
Beverly: There's no reason you can't do that with your space movies, right, Mur?
Murray: When you're right, you're right, Bevy.
Beverly: [aughs] He's a lug, but I love him.
Murray: Lady loves a lug. [smooches] Smack-diggity!
Quote from Murray
Adam: Father? Which do you like best? "Star Wars" or "Star Trek"?
Murray: Which is the one with the purple fish?
Adam: Neither of them have purple fish.
Murray: "Star Wars" has got the guy with the little feet, right?
Adam: I have no idea who you're talking about. Do you mean Yoda?
Murray: No! I'm talking about the one guy with the weird head.
Adam: You mean Jabba the Hutt?
Adam: Admiral Ackbar?
Adam: Aunt Beru?
Murray: Aunt Beru?!
Adam: Gah! I can't do this right now! Jackie and I have major problems to deal with.
Murray: [to himself] And that is how you get out of a ridiculous conversation.
Quote from Pops
Adam: Pops, thank God you're here! There's a major crisis between me and Jackie. Only my love guru can help.
Pops: This is why I sit here waiting all day. Lay it on me, kiddo.
Adam: Hang on to your hat. Turns out, Jackie likes "Star Trek" more than "Star Wars." What do I do?
Pops: About what?
Adam: It's a fact. Force Freaks and Trekkies never get along. We're sworn enemies.
Pops: Okay, here's what you do. Nothing. 'Cause it's all dumb.
Adam: Dumb?! If I date a Trekkie, I lose all my street cred with my boys!
Pops: And just where is this street, and who are these boys?
Quote from Dinner with the Goldbergs
Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was now decision-making time. And for my dad, the only choice was how to save money.
Murray: Okay, it's time for Murray's menu rules. Remember, no prime cuts, no fancy sides, no out-of-season vegetables, no market price, no salad bar, no items in French, no dry-aged anything, and, most importantly...
All: No appetizers of any kind, 'cause that's how they screw ya.
Geoff: Does that include a nice soup?
Murray: Are you for real? Is he for real? You're gonna eat a little meal before you eat a big meal? How many meals do you need?
Quote from A Chorus Lie
Erica: How is it my fault that every guy in our school is an unbearable moron?
Lainey: That's another thing. You gotta stop calling everyone a moron.
Murray: Morons! You're being too loud! Find another house to stupid up.
Barry: Oh my God, you're just like Dad! Way to go, Mur-man. Years of calling everyone on the planet a moron has poisoned your daughter's love life, and left her cold and alone.
Murray: So you're telling me that I've raised a daughter who doesn't want to date dumbass high school boys?
I think I've done my job.