Murray Quote #473
Beverly: Murray, how could you do this?
Murray: Make our children responsible adults? I don't know what got into me!
Quote from Coach Mellor
Barry: Dude, look at the laundry basket! Is that one of those impossible-to-fold sheets Mom was tricking us with?
Coach Mellor: You mean fitted? I've danced with a few.
Erica: They're perfect.
Barry: You folded them? How'd you find the corners?
Coach Mellor: You don't find the corners of the sheet. The corners find you.
Quote from Murray
Murray: Hey, morons. Let me get this straight. You two have officially decided to let your mom take care of you for the rest of your lives.
Barry: She seems very open to it.
Murray: Of course she is. How do you not see what she's doing after all this time?
Barry: Dude, do you think she gave us the impossible sheet on purpose?
Murray: Yes. She manipulates you into needing her week after week.
Erica: What are you talking about?
Murray: She made up a medical condition so she could have a sleepover with you in your dorm on your first night of college.
Erica: Well, that certainly is an example.
Quote from Coach Mellor
Coach Mellor: Well, you've come to the right efficiency apartment. My perpetual single-tude has given me an amazing array of domestic skills. Make yourselves at home in my living room/gym/sitting area/lanai. Brisket? I made that in my gentleman's Crock-Pot.
Geoff: So tender! It falls apart at fork's first touch. Also, how long are we gonna be here?
Quote from Dinner with the Goldbergs
Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was now decision-making time. And for my dad, the only choice was how to save money.
Murray: Okay, it's time for Murray's menu rules. Remember, no prime cuts, no fancy sides, no out-of-season vegetables, no market price, no salad bar, no items in French, no dry-aged anything, and, most importantly...
All: No appetizers of any kind, 'cause that's how they screw ya.
Geoff: Does that include a nice soup?
Murray: Are you for real? Is he for real? You're gonna eat a little meal before you eat a big meal? How many meals do you need?
Quote from A Chorus Lie
Erica: How is it my fault that every guy in our school is an unbearable moron?
Lainey: That's another thing. You gotta stop calling everyone a moron.
Murray: Morons! You're being too loud! Find another house to stupid up.
Barry: Oh my God, you're just like Dad! Way to go, Mur-man. Years of calling everyone on the planet a moron has poisoned your daughter's love life, and left her cold and alone.
Murray: So you're telling me that I've raised a daughter who doesn't want to date dumbass high school boys?
I think I've done my job.
Quote from The Most Handsome Boy on the Planet
Murray: I didn't even like the stupid movie. Dumb little alien. All he wanted to do was go home, then he turns all white and crusty like an old dog turd. He loved that boy, but still he had to leave. I don't want to talk about the damn movie any more.