Barry: Or there's option 3: pick one of the names I've carefully crafted for you.
Adam: "Spazitron Spazzowitz." "Nads Asshattington." "Turd Smugglins."
Pops: No! Who would name their child Turd if their last name was Smugglins?! Who?!

Other Adam Goldberg: We need to talk, Adam Goldberg.
Adam: Oh, yeah, sure. What's on your mind, other Adam Goldberg?
Other Adam Goldberg: For the record, you're the other Adam Goldberg, and you're ruining my rep. Everyone thinks I wrote this hacky tripe.
Adam: It's supposed to say "Adam F." It's a simple mistake, really. It's like that time the nurse gave you my inhaler, even though you don't have a problem with ragweed.

Geoff: We're totally the Zabkas.
Erica: Okay, what is happening?
Geoff: I just watched every Zabka movie. "Karate Kid", Zabka snap-kicks Daniel, who was just handing Ali back her radio. "Back to School", Zabka punches Rodney Dangerfield. He punches an old man in the face. "Just One of the Guys", Zabka throws a girl in the ocean. She was just trying to succeed as a photographer.
Erica: Hey! Terry lied to everybody about who she was, until she told him the truth with her boobs.
Geoff: I'm Geoff Schwartz, man. I can't be the Zabka. I'm the sweet, lovable, girl-next-door type. I'm the Elisabeth Shue.