Beverly: Okay, come here. I got to put my lips on your forehead and take your temperature.
Barry: I'm fine. Keep your lips off me.
Beverly: Come here, come here. Mwah! Oh, my God. You must be 102.3. You're with fever!
Barry: I'm not with fever. There's no science to putting lips on a forehead.
Beverly: Why do you think they call it a ther-mom-eter? Mom is in the name. 'Cause we invented it.
Murray: Yeah, none of that's real.

Ruben Amaro, Jr.: What's your name, bro?
Adam: Adam F. Goldberg. Got to use the middle initial cause there's another Adam Goldberg in school, and he's very mad about the whole same-name situation.

Adam: Honestly, the tape was only meant to be shared with my bros on the basketball team.
Barry: Those bros are my bros, not yours. From this point forward, I forbade you from liking anything I like.
Adam: Yeah, you can't do that.
Barry: Oh, I can. Starting now, stay away from the following Barry Goldberg trademark hobbies and interests: Globetrotters, karate, Bo staff, Air Jordans, competitive kiting, extreme BMXing, hot showers, conga lines, and diving into an icy river with a knife in your mouth. I own that move. I also claim Skittles and soda.
Adam: You can't claim an entire genre of beverage. That's madness!
Barry: And it's mine! I also own roller skating, eating chili, half and full nelsons, Chuck Norris, and boobs.
Adam: No! That's too far. You can't claim boobs. Everyone likes boobs.
Barry: Have fun sticking to your dumb hobbies like robots and glasses.
Adam: Glasses aren't a hobby. They're a corrective accessory to combat my wandering eyeball.
Barry: Exactly! You stay in your lame nerdy world, and I'll stay in my awesome one.