Beverly: I just don't understand how you could do this. Why would you hide something so amazing from your mother?
Adam: You actually liked it?
Beverly: Liked it? This is as good, if not better, than Stefan King himself.
Adam: Stephen King. And you've read his stuff?
Beverly: Not a word. But I'll tell you something. He'd better look out for Adam F. Goldberg. Love the middle initial, very authorly.
Adam: It's only there 'cause there's another Adam Goldberg in school. He's in 11th grade and has a beard.

Elaine: Beverly, we usually do classics or award winners. The point of book club is to enrich our minds.
Beverly: Put a sock in it, Elaine. Last week, you picked that suck-ass "Joy Luck Club."
Pops: Bevy, that book was a heart-wrenching masterpiece.
Beverly: Okay, what are you even doing here? This is a book club for ladies.
Pops: That's exactly why I'm here. Albert Solomon, book lover.

Adam: Hey.
Beverly: Don't "hey" me, mister. I found your little story.
Adam: Oh. Okay. Any resemblance to actual persons living or dead or big-haired and blond is purely coincidental.