Beverly Quote #545

Quote from Beverly in Crazy Calls

Beverly: Why did you let them go?
Mr. Glascott: They called my schmoo a nerd. That's not on them. That's more on your schmoo for being one.
Beverly: Hey, only I get to call my schmoo a schmoo.
Mr. Glascott: The point is, Adam and his gang of computer dorks don't even eat in the lunchroom. That means they're not even on the social ladder. You've got to do something about this. If you don't help Adam, then you have failed as a mother.
Beverly: But that is my greatest nightmare.

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Features in the collection: Beverly Goldberg: I Have Failed as a Mother.

‘Beverly Goldberg: I Have Failed as a Mother’

Quote from Beverly in The Age of Darkness

Beverly: Sweetie, you have to eat.
Erica: Food reminds me of Drew. He used to eat food.
Beverly: Baby, if you don't eat, then I have failed as a mother.

Quote from Beverly in A Wrestler Named Goldberg

Barry: Mom? Are you kidding me right now? Move.
Beverly: I will not move. I will never move. You're my special boy. If you end up being just a head, then I have failed as a mother.

 ‘Crazy Calls’ Quotes

Quote from Erica

Murray: Did anyone call while I was out?
Erica: Yeah. I wrote it down on the pad.
Murray: Flurt Burtman? Who the hell's Flurt Burtman?
Erica: I don't know. He was talking all fast, 'cause it was important. Anyway, call him back.
Murray: Call who back?! If it's important, I need to know the actual name.
Erica: I don't know. I'm not invested, because it wasn't for me.
Murray: What the hell's this message? "PP"?
Erica: Oh, Barry wrote that. My guess is he either drank too much Mr. Pibb or Pop-Pop called?
Murray: Wait. My dad called? He never uses the phone. He always thinks the Cubans are listening.
Erica: Oh, he calls all the time. He just says, "Tell the moron I'll call him back." Oh, so this is me giving you those dozens of messages.

Quote from Mr. Glascott

Mr. Glascott: Figuring out where to sit, eh?
Adam: Yeah.
Mr. Glascott: Ah, that's a sad dance that I know all too well. But lucky for you, I'm a guidance counselor, and I can guide you to lunchroom success.
Adam: Um, maybe I could sit with the preppies?
Mr. Glascott: Come on, man. You want to walk around in boat shoes with no socks? You want to invite that kind of fungus in your life?

 Beverly Goldberg Quotes

Quote from The Darryl Dawkins Dance

Beverly: [beep] me sideways. I have raised some thoughtful children.

Quote from Happy Mom, Happy Life

Beverly: Somebody stole my baby. Well, not real baby, fake baby. It's a toy. Somebody stole my toy! I'm going to get attitude from my son's pretend wife. Can someone call the police? Or Toys 'r Us? I don't [beep] know any more.