Coach Mellor Quote #40

Quote from Coach Mellor in I Heart Video Dating

Murray: Thanks for sitting down with me, Rick.
Coach Mellor: Anything for my protege's old man. In a way, it's like we're married.
Murray: Yeah, that's gonna make this easier. Uh, thing is, Barry's not gonna be a gym teacher.
Coach Mellor: What's that now?
Murray: I think that Woody Allen said it best. [Imitating Woody Allen] "Those that can't do, teach.
And those that can't teach, teach gym."
Coach Mellor: How dare you. You call that a Woody Allen impression? [Imitating Woody Allen] This is a Woody Allen impression.
Murray: That's exactly what I'm doing.
Coach Mellor: You got to stammer like, like this. Use your hands more.


 ‘I Heart Video Dating’ Quotes

Quote from Adam

Adam: I see it now. We open on a time portal as Mr. Lewis' cold, naked body spills to the Earth. He rises from the smoke like a Love Terminator.
Erica: Yeah, no nudity or time travel. Just make Mr. Lewis look cool. You know, macho.
Adam: We're making a picture! An Adam F. Goldberg joint.
Erica: What's with the "F"?
Adam: There's another Adam Goldberg at school. He's super-sensitive. I don't want to cause any marketplace confusion.
Erica: Don't worry about it. No one cares about either of you.

Quote from Beverly

Lainey: Dad, it's been four years since Mom left. Isn't it time you got set up with someone?
Beverly: Set up? Did somebody say "set up"? Who am I setting up?
Erica: No, stop. We don't need your help. Bill's gonna do video dating.
Beverly: Video dating? [chuckles] [robotic voice] Beep, boop, bop, zorp. Beep, boop, bop. I will find you love.
Erica: Sorry, but, uh, your way of matchmaking is a thing of the past.
Beverly: [normal voice] Please. I am literally responsible for setting up over 200 couples, which means I'm personally responsible for over 62,000 babies.
Erica: Yeah, that's not real math.

Quote from Adam

Adam: Hey, what are you doing?
Erica: Destroying this and starting over.
Adam: But I gave you exactly what you asked for: macho. Your dad was a shirtless cowboy, a sweaty cop, a leather-clad biker. Oh, I see it now.