Barry Quote #422

Quote from Barry in I Heart Video Dating

Barry: Bookkeeper? I don't want to be a librarian.
Murray: Bookkeeper's not a librarian, you moron. It's more like an accountant.
Barry: Why didn't I get an awesome job like boat owner or rap mogul or neighborhood oracle?
Murray: What the hell's an oracle?
Barry: A guy who sees the future.
Murray: I can see your future. You're mowing lawns for the city.
Barry: Never! I will be a rich neighborhood oracle, and nothing you say can stop me.

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 ‘I Heart Video Dating’ Quotes

Quote from Adam

Adam: I see it now. We open on a time portal as Mr. Lewis' cold, naked body spills to the Earth. He rises from the smoke like a Love Terminator.
Erica: Yeah, no nudity or time travel. Just make Mr. Lewis look cool. You know, macho.
Adam: We're making a picture! An Adam F. Goldberg joint.
Erica: What's with the "F"?
Adam: There's another Adam Goldberg at school. He's super-sensitive. I don't want to cause any marketplace confusion.
Erica: Don't worry about it. No one cares about either of you.

Quote from Beverly

Lainey: Dad, it's been four years since Mom left. Isn't it time you got set up with someone?
Beverly: Set up? Did somebody say "set up"? Who am I setting up?
Erica: No, stop. We don't need your help. Bill's gonna do video dating.
Beverly: Video dating? [chuckles] [robotic voice] Beep, boop, bop, zorp. Beep, boop, bop. I will find you love.
Erica: Sorry, but, uh, your way of matchmaking is a thing of the past.
Beverly: [normal voice] Please. I am literally responsible for setting up over 200 couples, which means I'm personally responsible for over 62,000 babies.
Erica: Yeah, that's not real math.

 Barry Goldberg Quotes

Quote from The Opportunity of a Lifetime

Beverly: I just I wanted to tell Barry, uh, [quietly] don't pitch.
Barry: Did you just call me a "dumb bitch"?
Beverly: No, I said "don't pitch."
Barry: What? That's even worse!

Quote from Cowboy Country

Barry: If I hear you say no again, I'm hulking out. We're talking screaming and swearing. I'm gonna smash this decorative box.
Murray: Do not hulk out. Do not smash that decorative box.
Barry: Say goodbye to the decorative box.
Murray: Your mom keeps her knick-knacks in there.
Barry: I'll destroy her knick-knacks too! Hulk doesn't respect knick-knacks..