Erica: Dad! Wherever you are sitting or eating in this house, come to my room immediately. It's an emergency.
Murray: I was both sitting and eating, so this better be worth it.

Coach Mellor: Let's do it. Tomorrow, you'll be the team captain, and you can choose all your nerd friends first.
Adam: Sounds great, except for the part where you called us nerds.
Coach Mellor: Losers it is, then! Tomorrow, the hierarchy of the physical-education world will be turned upside down, and all you dregs, dipwads, and dweebs, rejoice!

Murray: Okay, compromise. The moron boys can get the hell out, but my little peanut, she's going to school in Philadelphia.
Mr. Glascott: I get it. I got a bird. She's my princess. If she flew away, I don't know what I would do.