Pops: Uh-oh, I'm looking at some pretty shady stuff here, and I know shady.
Erica: Okay, I'm gonna let you in on a secret that's so gigantic that it could rock this family to its very core.
Pops: Maybe I shouldn't-
Erica: Here it is. I've never taught a swimming lesson in my entire life, I don't do Model U.N. or Meals on Wheels, and it feels so good to finally tell someone!
Pops: Wait, you scammed your mom? That's very risky. How has she not been at one of your swim lessons?
Erica: I specifically chose the YMCA pool 'cause she hates it. It's so humid, it makes her hair frizz. And the Model U.N. thingy? I swore I'd quit if she showed up, and she knows better than to call that bluff.

Beverly: You're not going to school in Hawaii. It's surrounded by sharks.

Erica: I need you to listen to this fake argument about trickle-down economics in case mom asks me about the debate team.
Pops: You're writing speeches for a debate you're not a part of?
Erica: Yes, and we need to make it good.
Pops: No "we." Stop saying "we."
Erica: "Trickle-down economics is a pejorative term used by liberal-media hacks."